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Family Issue

(4 Posts)
GadenQueen80 Tue 14-Nov-17 11:51:02

Hi all,
So my husband's mil wants us to go to her house on Christmas day and stay the night.
We have a 3 year old son and recently discovered we are pregnant again (almost 20 weeks) we are also in the process of moving house. We may be in before Christmas - if not early January.
I desperately don't want to go!!! I'm already suffering back pain and it would be a 3 hour drive there on Christmas day and the same home on Boxing day. The thought of sitting in the car that long and with our poor 3 year old son is really stressing me out. It would mean a lot of toilet stops too as I'm struggling to contain my bladder atm! We suggested they come to us but they rarely do so that's a no-go. My husband's mil just wants everyone rallying around and running to her. She's very selfish and very controlling which is why my husband doesn't want to upset or let her down.
What shall I do!!! sad

VeganIan Tue 14-Nov-17 11:58:42

"Look DH, I'm in agony with my back at the moment and won't be able to sit in the car for 3 hours. It will ruin my Christmas. Also I don't want to rip DS away from his toys on Christmas day. Why don't we sit this one out, have a leisurely day and see them when I can go for more than half an hour without needing a wee"

Just say no.

Ausparent Tue 14-Nov-17 12:12:30

I can't get over how many threads I see here about people feeling they have to do something at Christmas that makes them miserable because someone else tells them to.

Say no. You have too much on and this is an unnecessary stress which you can avoid whereas the others are unavoidable.

DH and I come from different countries and live in a third and are always under pressure from family. We could either spend every Christmas at the beck and call of others or we could enjoy it and do what we want.

People are not unreasonable to ask you to do things and you are not unreasonable to say no thank you.

GadenQueen80 Tue 14-Nov-17 12:24:43

Thanks Veganlan smile
I feel selfish myself as DH parents don't see us very often but we do invite them to us, they don't often come though and always say it's because they hate leaving their pets etc etc. I just feel as though his mil shouldn't expect us to with everything we have going on. My soft, non-confrontstional side keeps saying just grin and bear it - it's only one day but then I get angry and frustrated and think why should I bow down to her every whim! I reckon 3 hours sat in a car would cripple me atm anyway.
It's nice to have a non-bias opinion though. Everyone I know thinks I'm nuts to even consider it..

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