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Dating at 40 any hope?

(25 Posts)
user1490465531 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:23:23

I'm nearing 40 been single ages. Guess what I'm asking is have I got much hope of finding love now?
know it's pretty random but just spoke to a friend who is the same age as me and says that because dating is so dire at our age if she became single now she would stay on her own
Just feel depressed at the thought of spending a possible 40 more years alone but beginning to wonder if I should of settled younger when it was easier.

purplelass Mon 13-Nov-17 16:27:03

I met the chap I've been seeing for nearly 2 years when I was 44 so there's hope yet. Age is just a number smile

Rainbowandraindrops67 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:27:59

I think it is harder at 40, all the good ones married or taken already or you are left with commitment phobes or divorcees who are looking for younger women. But this is just generally - individually why shouldn’t there be someone out there for you? Personally I’d look for someone into the same hobbies as you and go from there- join groups rather than dating sites

pudding21 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:28:40

I think 40 is a great age to date. You will appeal to younger men, same age and older men too. Take your pick! At 40 more or less you have your shit together, and you can have fun ;)

Go for it.

user1490465531 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:30:47

True I just read on here that as a 40 yr old woman I will probably have to accept dating a much older man.
I don't like men that look to old for ex ample grey/balding men turn me of.
Hope I can at least expect to meet someone in my age group.

user1490465531 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:32:37

Rainbow that's what I worry about all the ones my age wanting younger and they seem to be able to get them as well.

cupcakesmakeyouhappy Mon 13-Nov-17 16:33:05

Don't give up hope! I'm 40 and have been single 7 years! Oh dear, when I say that out loud.
I sometimes think I should get out more but all of my friends and family are married. I need a single best friend smile

user1490465531 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:35:57

Don't feel bad cupcake I've been single longer than you!

NaiceBiscuits Mon 13-Nov-17 16:37:12

Don't write yourself off. I thought much the same, but I've now got a really lovely partner (and he's a feminist ally, to boot grin ) who is my age.

Online dating was hideous. I didn't actually go on any dates because the people on there were only after one thing really, or else threw up so many red flags that there was no chance.

I met my partner through a hobby. And that's a pretty good way of finding someone who you already have something in common with. So, what do you enjoy doing, or what have you always fancied giving a try? It might be worth joining a group, and worst case, you'll make some new friends.

user1490465531 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:38:59

it's hard to get out much as dd is ten and doesn't see her dad so always have to find babysitters if I want to get out.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 13-Nov-17 16:46:08

I met dh 5 years ago at 41, married with a dc now.
And I had many dc when we met. Him none .

madmother1 Mon 13-Nov-17 16:46:45

Don't give up hope. I'm 53 and met my partner on POF a year ago. He's the love of my life. I'm very happy. He's going to be moving in soon. smile

forumdonkey Mon 13-Nov-17 17:17:53

I'm 47 and met my bf 7 months ago. I am so happy and he's amazing. If I had tick boxes, he'd tick every one. I was happily single and didn't particularly want a relationship because I was enjoying single life so much. I want to spend my time with him now and I have never felt like this with any other bf and I was single, albeit casual flings, for ten years.

Rainbowandraindrops67 Mon 13-Nov-17 17:22:08

Put dd into a drop off Saturday activity and you join something too at the same time (or evenings)

Yes a lot of 40s men will be looking at and getting younger women but don’t forget there’s loads of men that like slightly older women too - especially if you’ve had a child and aren’t looking for more.

dogfish1 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:08:40

Agree with the above. And don't go thinking getting married at 30 is that great either. By 50 half of them will be divorced, and half the rest will be in relationships so dire that they should be.

Auntpetunia2015 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:13:06

It’s possible I’m 49 and met my lovely OH 18 months ago on line ( he’s also 49). Both been in long relationships I’d been married 24 years him 17. So at 40 you’ve got years

fantasmasgoria1 Mon 13-Nov-17 18:22:57

41 and met my fiancé a year ago and he is the same age.

Aroundtheworldandback Mon 13-Nov-17 18:32:33

I think you have more hope than someone in their mid 30’s- people are paired off then whereas at your age there are so many coming out of first marriages.

I was divorced at 36 and met my incredible dh just before my 40th. You absolutely can meet someone special- don’t lower your standards thinking you’re too old.. you’re not.

TheNaze73 Mon 13-Nov-17 19:18:09

As a mid to late 40’s man, i can safely say there’ll be lots of men, especially the ones who’ve had children who will appreciate your stability and maturity. My partner is 10 year + older.
Not all men want a younger woman.
Good luck

MeganBacon Mon 13-Nov-17 19:27:07

I hate to say it but I think there is a tendency for men see the early forties as a difficult age for women, and you will find it immeasurably easier once you reach mid forties and men aren't scared off by the idea that you may want more children very urgently. I became inexplicably popular in my late forties and met dh when I was 50 (he was 53), and he's a gem. So I think it gets easier from here.

haribomilkshake Mon 13-Nov-17 20:25:33

Well I can only speak for my experience, I live in london so I think there is a bit more diversity of choice. I'm 44 and recently joined tinder and I fucking love it lol. Encounters range from serial pen pals to good dates - I've met up with 5 and 3 so far have gone further. Men between 8 years younger to own age, and properly attractive. Best in mind I'm totally not interested in domestic bliss at the moment but equally not hookups. I'm taking each meeting as a chance to have some fun, widen my perspective, figure out what I want longer term. I personally find it liberating that I'm not tied to looking for the man to give me babies and domesticity like I was in my late 20s, and I think that is part of my attraction. But i would add if I were looking for husband material it might be a bit more daunting - even the guys I met who I really like I can see why they are still single in late 30s to early 40s - commitment shy and possibly a bit set in their ways. Or unable to communicate.
Give it a try but make sure most of all you are honest with yourself

ConfusedNottinghamMomma Mon 13-Nov-17 20:58:23

Dating at 40 is fine - I am bloke who is 41 and I have been on dates with women in there 40's.

Its a differnt ball game to when I was last single - early twenties, but I am a very differnt beast now, matured in personality and what I want - back then it was very much the skinniest, hottest babe. Now I learn that actually far more attractive is confidence, intelligence and emotional intelligence.

Don't worry, there are good guys out there - yes, there are the 'immature' 40 year olds but you get jerks at all stages.

SilverdaleGlen Mon 13-Nov-17 21:13:51

Oh don't freak me out, I'm just starting to date again after a 21 year marriage and a 2 year singledom, I turn 40 soon!

So far I have met one person who there was zero spark and one with whom there are a bucket full of fireworks but we are badly suited in every other way 😀

It's fun but I'm not looking to settle down and I do worry that when I am ready it may not be possible?!

Anon171175 Mon 13-Nov-17 21:22:39

I'm just about to turn 42 and have to admit I'm worrying about this a bit. I'm not ready to date yet anyway but do also assume men my age are looking for younger women. However, I would imagine most single blokes in their 40s who don't want any more kids would prefer a woman closer their own age.
Also I do think it will be a bit easier than in your 30s as that is when most people are taken. Men in their 40s are more likely to be divorced. I think its hard at any age.

Boredboredboredboredbored Mon 13-Nov-17 21:26:15

I’m 40 and have just started dating a man who is 50 who I met online. I have to say he looks far younger than 50, if you saw us together you’d never know. The best part is his kids are older so no problems there. Mine are teenagers and neither of us want anymore more kids so we just get the pleasure of each other’s company. I’m not sure it’ll last forever but it’s the first time I’ve dated in 17 years since separating from stbxh a year ago and it feels good. The sex is ace too!!

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