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DH 'appreciating' my body...

(73 Posts)
Howannoyingisthis Mon 13-Nov-17 11:14:40

DH has a strong sex drive. We have sex c. twice per week and ideally he'd like more.

He loves watching me getting dressed in the morning and finds it arousing. On days when he needs to be up and out of the house before me, he is often late because he is hanging around to catch a glimpse of me naked!

I find this very annoying. I don't mind being appreciated and fancied, I'm glad of course that my DH finds me attractive. But sometimes it seems to me to verge on ogling and perving iyswim, and a bit obsessive. I've actually started to look forward to times when I can get ready un-ogled!

I know this isn't Aibu, but AIBU!? Would you be happy or annoyed by such attention?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 13-Nov-17 11:18:50

How long have you been married?

Howannoyingisthis Mon 13-Nov-17 11:19:47

We've been together 20 years

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 13-Nov-17 11:21:31

He's been late for work on a regular basis for the past 20 years coz he wants to see you naked?

BuggerMyBum Mon 13-Nov-17 11:21:53

I'd find this very annoying.

Have you told him it makes you feel comfortable?

TammySwansonTwo Mon 13-Nov-17 11:24:28

My husband is like this too. If he had his way he'd have me wandering around naked all the time I'm sure, but I hate being naked so tough shit.

Heartofglass12345 Mon 13-Nov-17 11:24:31

My husband is a bit pervy lol, but at least he’s looking at me and no one else! He tells me he had always fantasised about women like me before we met. I keep telling him he needs to go to specsavers!

Howannoyingisthis Mon 13-Nov-17 11:24:36

He used to go in later than me or same time. New job this year.

This has only been for past few years though. He'd probably attribute it to less sex/privacy.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 13-Nov-17 11:26:42

Don't his employers ever say anything to him bout his persistent lateness?

HeyRoly Mon 13-Nov-17 11:27:29

On days when he needs to be up and out of the house before me, he is often late because he is hanging around to catch a glimpse of me naked!

Ugh, nothing would dry my vagina up faster than my husband regularly making himself late for work because he's creeping around hoping to catch a sight of me naked, like an over-excitable teenage boy confused

Humpsfor20yards Mon 13-Nov-17 11:28:34

On days when he needs to be up and out of the house before me, he is often late because he is hanging around to catch a glimpse of me naked!

This is incredible to me. And I would find it very unattractive.

Humpsfor20yards Mon 13-Nov-17 11:29:40

High-fives HeyRoly.

I don't think even the most over-excitable teenage boy would be so, so...idiotic, would they?

BuzzKillington Mon 13-Nov-17 11:30:44

He sounds creepy.

TammySwansonTwo Mon 13-Nov-17 11:37:30

Do you work or can you just wait until he's gone to get dressed? If my husband were like this every morning it would piss me off no end.

HeyRoly Mon 13-Nov-17 11:38:40

She shouldn't have to wait to get dressed or modify her behaviour in any way!

ravenmum Mon 13-Nov-17 11:38:52

Makes it sound as if you are fully dressed all night and day, and never strip naked in front of him, so he has to hide out of sight until you finally reveal an ankle.

Presuming that this is not the case, it must be some kind of fantasy he wants to play at?

SandyY2K Mon 13-Nov-17 11:42:56

On one hand it's nice to know he still fancies the bones of you after 20 years... on the other hand... I hate being watched getting dressed, but I'm quite body conscious.

My DH always comments when I'm getting dressed... Things like "that's an eyeful" or "mmm. Don't get many of them to the pound

He's joking around really... but given a chance he'd jump at the opportunity for a shag at this point.

I certainly wouldn't appreciate him hanging around to see me naked though.

Can you tell him nicely and tactfully you don't like it... without upsetting him.

StatueInTheSky Mon 13-Nov-17 11:43:18

How long will he wait?...I'd swan about and see how late he'd really be.

It all sounds quite odd!

Howannoyingisthis Mon 13-Nov-17 11:43:28

I don't go to bed in a victorian nightie. But I do wear a vest/shorts.

KarriPotter Mon 13-Nov-17 11:45:10

A lot of negativity here! I think there are some green eyed women who secretly wish their husbands paid this much attention to them.

Op, your husband clearly loves you. Fancies the pants off you. Have a word if you wish but if all this dried up you’d be back here wittering about how your husband is so distant nowadays etc. Careful what you wish for.

Howannoyingisthis Mon 13-Nov-17 11:45:44

He doesn't always wait.... But he'd like to.

Sandy similar from my DH.

I'm glad he fancies me, and he is always very complimentary, even when I have clothes on! I'm just fed up of the 'ogling' nature.

ravenmum Mon 13-Nov-17 11:46:06

I think you should buy yourself a Victorian nightie, long socks and nightcap and threaten to wear them to bed if he doesn't stop acting like a schoolboy.

TammySwansonTwo Mon 13-Nov-17 11:46:47

No, she shouldn't have to. She should tell him to cut it out. Whether he's going to do that after 20 years of marriage is another matter. Assuming OP isn't so pissed off with it that she'd consider divorcing him over it, she needs a plan.

OP - absolutely tell him to cut it out. I hope he does. If not, tell him his behaviour is a massive turn off and get dressed in the bathroom until he understands how uncomfortable he is making you. It's one thing if you're happy to be ogled, quite another if you're not. Went through a dry spell with my husband due to medication and he would always pop up when I was trying to get dressed, used to drive me nuts.

ravenmum Mon 13-Nov-17 11:50:16

I would presume it was a fantasy and be a bit annoyed that he was acting it out on his own, one-sided, like I was an unknowing prop in the film running through his head.

But there are different ways of letting him know that his actions are turning her off, rather than turning her on.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Mon 13-Nov-17 11:52:04

So he likes to see you getting dressed in the morning, he's not interested in you getting undressed for bed at night? A bit like the opposite of a stripper then.

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