DH is emotionally and financially abusive. I have posted before. He's currently making an effort to change. I have realised I am completely done. I don't want to be with him. I have (in my head) rearranged the house to how I want it once he leaves. I have made other preparations for this. I do not want to be with him. I am struggling with how to tell him this while he is obviously trying really hard to be a better husband and father.
So last night he starts with the whole 'I love you and the kids so much, I'm so cared of screwing this up. I don't want to lose you. You're my everything. Do you feel the same? Do you love me? Do you fancy me? Do you want to be together forever?' rubbish. And I find myself saying yes. Of course I love you. Yes I want this. When I don't. Why do I keep doing this? Why am I so scared of just saying no I bloody hate you. I want you to leave. I'd be more than happy if you never touched me again ever!!
Don't know why I'm posting really. Just wondering if this is a normal part of preparing to leave or if maybe there's some dodgy wiring somewhere in my brain.
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Why do I keep doing this?
4 replies
gonepottie · 13/11/2017 06:54
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