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Time to walk away from this 'group?'

(2 Posts)
sumoslayer Sun 12-Nov-17 20:06:56

My 'friends' are falling like flies since having DC. As in, I'm losing them at a rather fast rate!
I've made new mum friends but I am shy and so they're more like acquaintances, although I do seem to have much more in common with them and I enjoy their company more. I'm not too good at upholding friendships though and always worry about coming on too strong.

I have one group of friends from my twenties who I meet up with maybe a few times per year, there are a couple of people within that group I will see on a 1:1 basis. As a group, we pretty much just all went drinking together and most of them still do, but I've really outgrown them and moved further away geographically too.
I recently discovered that they have a 'group messenger' thread which I've not been included in and seem to have missed out on the plans for our next get together, although I have been invited. I saw a conversation on social media regarding the get together and it became clear that further plans had been made on this thread which I wasn't aware of.
Also, one member of the group has arranged a seperate celebration and I haven't been invited at all to that, yet the rest of the group have.
I feel very different from the group and always have, nights out and drinking no longer attracts me, but I was hoping to continue being able to meet up from time to time. The group are much closer than I thought and I'm feeling like an outsider. It's difficult as I do have 1:1 friendships with 2 members of the group, but even with those, I feel a discomfort at times, as if theyre fully aware they're excluding me for reasons, only they have discussed. I have no proof of this, just a feeling.

Do I still go on this planned get together that I've been invited to and seek out the information that I've missed out on, or do I just forget it completely and focus on building new friendships which better suit my life as it is now?

youchangeyourusername Sun 12-Nov-17 20:23:45

I would go and then make a decision based on how you think this get together goes.

I am pretty shitty at maintaining friendships. I can go weeks without really bothering about seeing people or making the effort. I’m lucky that my friends don’t hold it against me and aren’t perfect themselves.

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