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Should I be worried about this.

(5 Posts)
ImJustOneGrumpyMare Sun 12-Nov-17 16:17:09

First off hi. Please don't be too mean I'm absloutley devastated and paranoid and I don't want to be overthinking things when it's not needed.

I had a baby 12 week ago, so do already feel day and ugly. Ebf doesn't help. Neither does my 2 1/2 year old..

Well to start with me and oh have been together nearly 5 years, and back in 2026 we split up for 3 month. During that time I found out he was texting a woman called Martina, he asked me over one day and he left his phone on the bed, and there were texts from her saying things like, 'omg I'm so fucked I need some more coke xxxxxxx' and oh like 'Lol me too babe xxxxxxxx' well I wasn t arsed we wasnt together end of. ( I must point out dp works 40h a week, doesn't do coke now we're back together but did do it weekends when we split up)

Today his work friend come over for tea. Well not to be obvious dp name is very close to a girls name. And I was playing with his hair and said shall I start calling you -and said her name because it is very very very similar to his, and is what you would use to the women alternative to his-

Well I totally forgot he was obviously texted -her- when we broke up.

His friend started akughing and said I know what you're on about. I said oh yeah what's that? He said the woman that works on packing, she wears tight bottoms and he said -on about dp- to his friend oh she a cracking arse sad . Now I've had a convo with dp and he swears blind she doesn't work there no more. Hard to believe really.

I asked his friend if he said anything else and to tell me but he went bright red, couldn't stop laughing and sent silent. Dp was sat there with us...

I'm just questioning this further.... Is there more that meets the eye here?

Should I be worried?

Is dp lieing?

Most of all should I LTB.

I'm just so hurt hes lied. I just feel like I can't trust him no more. He tells me storied about work all the time and goes on about how there's no women there. Or how they're all not nice. I've tried telling him I'm not bothered what women are there, just to not lie to me.

What's hurt me most is how he's lied to me about who is there. A woman he previously had sexual talks with, who apparently wears tight clothes and to dp has s cracking arse.

Dp does have history of cheating. When we first got together he cheated in me 3 times. And I stupidly took him back. I honestly thought he'd changed 2 kids down the line sad someone please calm me down.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sun 12-Nov-17 16:24:31

I’d say to talk to him; but I don’t think there’s any chance that he’ll stop lying. It seems like he has done that all along.

Realistically, as you’ve given birth so recently, it might be worth just letting this go for a few months and moving on without him down the line when you feel more able.

At the end of the day; the evidence would suggest that he is a leopard that has not changed his spots.

ImJustOneGrumpyMare Sun 12-Nov-17 16:36:05

What do I say? I just don't know what to say at all. I feel sick when I look at him. He's betrayed my trust so much I'm so hurt.

He's clearly lieing, and he wint tell me the truth. I can tell he's lieing because when I ask if it's true he goes all defensive and starts shouting

PickAChew Sun 12-Nov-17 16:41:36

He's never going to be honest with you. Your best bet, right now, is to start nurturing yourself and quietly finding out what the practicalities of separating would be, if it came to that. Meantime, don't go out of your way to pick arguments that are going to hurt you, when you haven't got the strength, but treat him with the contempt he deserves.

ImJustOneGrumpyMare Sun 12-Nov-17 16:59:23

Well MIL is here and he can't even face coming in the same room as us. He knows I'm SUPER pissed off.

His mum keeps asking what's wrong. I just tell her I'm full of cold but he knows the real reason.

How should I act with him. I'm shit at this. He's been my childhood sweetheart and the only man I've been with since o was 15. He's been my only real love. And I love him so much but this has broke me. I don't know if there's a way back although I'd like to but I just don't think i can trust him no more.

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