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to meet someone "organically"

(28 Posts)
missteeq Sun 12-Nov-17 15:14:31

how/where to meet someone organically as in not through online dating? I think I dont want to do online dating anymore - tried Tinder and Soulmates and although had quite a few cool dates, I dont think there is substance in online dating, its more like a shag market.
anyone has similar thoughts?

KittyandTeal Sun 12-Nov-17 15:18:55

A hobby or s group that do something you’re interested in? Running club, gym, book club?

esk1mo Sun 12-Nov-17 15:20:33

i met my OH at the gym

Garlicansapphire Sun 12-Nov-17 15:21:54

Meet up groups.

Essexgirlupnorth Sun 12-Nov-17 15:24:05

Have you any friends with single male friends they could introduce you too. Met my husband through friends

appella Sun 12-Nov-17 15:38:04

I felt the same about online dating, was literally about to delete it all, went on one last date and met my DP - that said I only ever used Bumble which was a bit 'classier' than some of the others...

meowimacat Sun 12-Nov-17 15:45:33

The gym or any other groups that involve men and women. Honestly, I hate OLD and refuse to do it, I've met loads of people through my gym - although still got to weed out the idiots in real life too.

mindutopia Sun 12-Nov-17 16:42:14

I met my dh out for drinks with a group of work friends. He worked with a colleagues partner at another organisation (not where we worked). I tried all sorts of online dating, speed dating, whatever, and then he just showed up one day when I was having after work drinks with friends.

missteeq Sun 12-Nov-17 21:05:30

meowimacat - I just feel like there would be less idiots in RL, it almost feel like theyre all online on tinder

CandleWithHair Sun 12-Nov-17 21:16:32

All these people saying ‘the gym’ - how exactly? Genuine question! When I’m at the gym I huff and puff my way around my workout and can’t see how you’d strike up a conversation without looking really weird! Is there some sort of secret code I don’t know about?

missteeq Sun 12-Nov-17 21:41:59

candlewithhair- good point, my thoughts exactly although I dont do gym at the moment

esk1mo Sun 12-Nov-17 22:19:30

candle we saw each other there every week or so and made eye contact. went on for about a month. one day he asked me the name of the exercise i was doing. after that brief convo we could then say hi/have a brief chat next time we saw each other before swapping numbers.

turns out he had a nickname for me and used to be all “oooo esk1mos here” to his friends, until one of them said go speak to her then!

esk1mo Sun 12-Nov-17 22:22:06

to add to that, i usually go at the same time every day, so you tend to see the same people there, especially in the weigh area. that can turn into “can i work in with you/are you using this/how many sets left” which sort of breaks the ice. i think it’d be a bit different if you approached someone you’d never seen before and asked for their number straight up!

esk1mo Sun 12-Nov-17 22:22:25

*weights area

rosabug Sun 12-Nov-17 22:26:40

You just never know. I would say don't be afraid to take risks - make eye contact with anyone you may be interested in even in passing.

My ex and I split after I found out about his 4 year affair 10 months ago. Together 20 years - I'm 56. Thought that was it. A few months ago I put my exes easels up for sale and now I'm seeing the guy who came to buy one! We are in love. God knows where it's going, but it's wonderful. Thing is I approached him for a coffee after - he said he never would have - so I'm really glad I put feelers out.

missteeq Mon 13-Nov-17 21:27:38

making eye contact in London is rather dangerous game :D

missteeq Fri 17-Nov-17 19:47:07

I signed up for a speed dating event, I feel anxious and curious in the same time.

Justaboy Fri 17-Nov-17 19:50:47

rosabug Lovely to hear that, best of luck:-)

Trills Fri 17-Nov-17 19:51:33

I'm not sure speed dating is fully organic but it's at least free range grin

Trills Fri 17-Nov-17 19:54:44

It's tricky, isn't it, to think of things you can do that:
a - you will enjoy
b - there will be men there
c - it's a situation where you talk to people you don't know
d - they will be "the sort of man you would like to meet" (hopefully A covers much of this)

I consider the gym to be a failure on C.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Fri 17-Nov-17 19:56:13

I met dh at a wine bar.

grobagsforever Sat 18-Nov-17 16:06:25

Sorry but LOL at 'book group' - what are the odds a single man belonging to such a thing?

thecatneuterer Sat 18-Nov-17 16:18:41


grobagsforever Sat 18-Nov-17 17:07:28

@thecatneuterer - is this like the book group suggestion?

Does anyone on this thread know ANY
single men who do either of these things?

Come on ppl. Engage brains. Men typically do a range of sports, table top gaming etc,

thecatneuterer Sat 18-Nov-17 17:36:54

grobags salsa classes and clubs are full of single men. Normally, in classes, there are more men than women. There is also a full age range from early 20s to 60s and all nationalities.

Salsa clubs (which are basically nightclubs that play salsa music and often have a class before the club night starts) are the same. And most people go alone. It's not the done thing to dance with the same person for more than one dance in a short period of time, so everyone dances with everyone else (well that's not entirely true - people of similar abilities tend to dance together). And there is a bar and a friendly atmosphere.

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