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Compliments all the time - feel uncomfortable - we're not even going out!

(11 Posts)
NotJustThreeSmallWords Sun 12-Nov-17 13:56:12

I have an old friend who I am friends with on FB. Whenever I post something he compliments me. I should feel flattered but it just makes me feel uncomfortable, and friends IRL have started commenting on it.
For example, we chatted recently on messenger, the first time we've actually been online at the same time, it was fine and I ended it by saying I needed to go to bed. When I woke up I had 3 or 4 extra messages telling me I'm beautiful and comparing me to actresses the same age who still look good.
This guy and I were really good friends as late teens and dated briefly in our early 20s, which I called off as he was so over the top, telling me he loved me all the time, tried to go back to being friends but it continued so eventually I had to call time on the friendship.
I've messaged him this morning to ask him to stop and telling him it makes me feel uncomfortable, but now I feel like IABU - that he's just being nice.
Am I over-reacting?

AlternativeTentacle Sun 12-Nov-17 13:58:21

No of course not.

NotJustThreeSmallWords Sun 12-Nov-17 13:59:40

PS if it matters I am average looking, certainly not beautiful but that's not the point of my post, just incase I get any "are you Samantha Brick" comments <self-deprecating grin >

Maelstrop Sun 12-Nov-17 14:03:57

Has he messaged you back? Are you prepared to block him? He sounds unhealthily obsessive.

Hermonie2016 Sun 12-Nov-17 14:05:20

You are uncomfortable and it's acceptable to tell him.If he's a true friend he will say sorry and you wont have a repeat of the behaviour.
If he's toxic he will sulk, try to persuade you that you are unreasonable, it's only being friendly etc.

I think you are uncomfortable with his comments as you both know they are over the top and that he's treating you at a superficial level.Real friends don't act like this.

NotJustThreeSmallWords Sun 12-Nov-17 14:11:32

No, he hasn't replied. He only seems to go online late.
I don't want to have to block him, I was glad to be in contact again after all these years but I will if I have to.
Glad you think it's ok to feel like this. Yes, it seems very superficial and that he's not really interested in me as a person. He never asks how I am for example.

teaandcakeat8 Sun 12-Nov-17 16:35:31

Why are you glad to have him back in your life if he annoys you with compliments and doesn't actually make conversation? Surely it makes sense to just block him? You don't owe people anything.

Ttbb Sun 12-Nov-17 16:45:41

Why don't you just put him on that list of people that doesn't see your posts?

TammySwansonTwo Sun 12-Nov-17 17:15:02

This is basically how my husband was when we were just friends - I had to distance myself from him as he was full on and I was with someone else. Of course eventually I fell for him too, turns out he wasn't just full of shit, he actually did love me as much as he said - 10+ years on and we are doing great.

He is very interested in you, tell him outright if you're not and don't speak to him anymore - no point staying in touch if you feel differently

NotJustThreeSmallWords Sun 12-Nov-17 20:38:56

I was glad to be back in touch because we were great as friends. I was hoping that time would have put paid to anything else.
Good idea to block him from photos, haven't done that before but will look into it.
Tammy, glad things worked out for you!

NotJustThreeSmallWords Mon 13-Nov-17 00:16:00

Have just looked on Messenger and he saw my message at 1.30pm. No reply.
I guess if he was embarrassed or sorry he would have said so straight away.
Shame really, we have a lot of shared history (lots of fun times when we were friends).

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