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New partner

(18 Posts)
Newtolife26 Sun 12-Nov-17 13:50:48

Hello,
I have a new partner, 3 months old. Recently, we had our first quarrel and he assured me that he was loyal in every way and that it demoralises him because he feels that I treat him like I just met him on the street. I have had such bad luck with men. What does it mean being loyal in every way? I just don't know if I can trust him, I can't let my guard down. Please advise me!

disappearingninepatch Sun 12-Nov-17 13:52:52

3 months in? Too soon to let your guard down. He's not likely to say, "I'm a cheating liar who can't be trusted." now is he?

AdalindSchade Sun 12-Nov-17 14:01:08

You can't trust anyone you have known for 3 months and if he's trying to force intimacy too quickly that's a massive red flag

SandyY2K Sun 12-Nov-17 14:21:03

I think he senses your mistrust and is trying to assure you he's trustworthy. I don't see that as a red flag ... but really...3 months in...he's just a boyfriend.

It's fine not to trust straight away... not your insecurities may drive him or any man away. He's not your Ex BFs. He's himself.

Hermonie2016 Sun 12-Nov-17 14:43:58

What did you argue about? It feels a heavy conversation to be having 3 months in.

expatinscotland Sun 12-Nov-17 14:47:25

He's a new 'partner' after only 3 months? Please chill out. He's a boyfriend. You hardly know each other after 3 months. It's the time to still be having fun, not having all these heavy issues. Maybe you have terrible luck with men because you need to take a break from dating, get to know yourself and your boundaries and needs a little better.

Pinkpillows Sun 12-Nov-17 14:51:02

I agree with expatinscotland

You'll attract shit men until you work out for yourself what's acceptable and what isn't, your 3 months in probably only gone on a few dates and he's already trying to convince you that he's loyal. If someone truly loyal it never needs to be said their actions speak for themselves

Newtolife26 Sun 12-Nov-17 16:33:54

Hi,
No I’ve know him for fifteen years but he has just become a partner. We see each other every day. You’re right I shouldn’t have posted this because I know the answer and there are some bitter woman who are being too subjective. - some very nasty responses. I guess I hadn’t told enough so you’ve had to make assumptions! Someone mentioned that I’d had shit relationships. I never said that- I want to settle down and get married and though, i’ve met some lovely men, they haven’t been right for me. That’s why I’m saying that I’ve had bad luck in finding the right one. Also, someone assumed that I was jumping into a relationship. I haven’t been in one for three years! The moral of the story is not to seek advice from strangers- I’m deleting my mumsnet account!

12345OnceCaughtAFish Sun 12-Nov-17 16:40:19

Talk>Mumsnet Stuff>Flouncers Corner
YW, HTH

underthebluemoon Sun 12-Nov-17 16:44:05

Newtolife, you have had good advice on fairly vague details. Take a deep breath. Are you new to MN?

AdalindSchade Sun 12-Nov-17 16:46:39

Lol bye

Pinkpillows Sun 12-Nov-17 17:25:48

You've only known him for 3 months as a boyfriend, that's what matters could of been a perfect gent as a friend. You've taken offence to my earlier comment but I still stand by it, 3 months in and asking for advice? Doomed

Melroy Sun 12-Nov-17 18:02:12

Hi Newlife26, you shouldn’t take offence so easily. People are trying to offer their constructive advice! I’m afraid I agree with Pinkpillow, though she may have put it a little more crudely than me and I don’t think that it’s fair to say that your relationship is doomed but what she might mean is that you should slow down your thought processes. He should be viewed as a boyfriend not a partner and his comment probably is due to his frustrations over you not showing signs of trusting him in spite of whatever he does. My advice to you is, don’t drive him away due to your paranoia( sorry if this is harsh), take things slowly, and listen to advice objectively. Out of some of the remarks there are some really sensible ones - so listen. Good luck and I hope that it works out for you!

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 12-Nov-17 18:05:46

That has to be a record for quickest flounce?!

valuerangeweetabixandmilk Sun 12-Nov-17 18:05:55

I agree with pink

PNGirl Sun 12-Nov-17 18:16:27

I've had my current mascara longer than three months. He needs to chill his boots a bit.

expatinscotland Sun 12-Nov-17 18:27:54

He's a boyfriend after 3 months. You don't have luck with men maybe because you immediately try to make the whole thing something it's not. Who has time for so much drama after 3 months? But hey, you've already flounced.

LesisMiserable Sun 12-Nov-17 20:11:17

Wowwwwww 😂

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