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How do you get through the hours?

(7 Posts)
Glitterpony51 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:59:04

Just that really 10 days on, husbands not coming back doesn’t love me enough, just wants a new life.
How do you get through the hours where it feels like you can’t go on.
Not time, I know that heals but how do you stop the heart wrenching thoughts that you can’t go on.
No children, no parents, how?? Please some one help.

Want2beme Sat 11-Nov-17 17:23:42

So sorry you're going through this. When it happened to me nearly 2years ago, I couldn't comprehend anything. Thought I'd never feel right again. I remember thinking that my life was just like ticking clock, with every second, minute, etc feeling and thinking something different. I could see a huge round clock, ticking away the emotions and it was absolute hell. As difficult as it was for me to cope, I just kept telling myself to take things very slowly and try not to focus on anything other than what I was feeling at that particular time. Very slowly, I started to feel a little better and soon realised that I would be ok if wanted be. I didn't off load to family & friends too much and decided to see a counsellor instead. It really helped having someone to talk to. Would you consider seeing a counsellor? I think you'd benefit from doing that. You need to talk about what's happening to you. Be kind to yourself and don't put pressure on yourself to be ok by a certain date. We all need time to learn to deal with things. You'll be ok.

User452734838 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:25:28

You have to keep very busy. Gym, walk, join a volunteer group etc etc. Alternatively plan a couple of months break if you can afford it and travel the world or volunteer abroad. Get away from the memories.

BeerBaby Sat 11-Nov-17 17:36:00

I'm so sorry. It's incredibly hard. It's not just you alot of people find it extremely difficult.

There is no right way but you have to try and find a balance. Evety day try to get up and dressed. This is hard enough! A few hours of crying and going through the hurt mixed with getting busy. I mean really really busy. Exercise. Keep active. Join new groups like choirs, exercise classes,book groups, dance classes. Honestly fill your diary. You need a timetable of events even if you need to do it hour by hour just do it. It helps! You will hate some of them but some will stick.

Clear your house out. Redecorate. Get a new hair cut and get some new clothes. Get your nails done. Try something completely new! Get in touch with old friends and plan days to visit places even if on your own. It shortens the days.

This time of year is really hard when it comes to loss op so be kind to yourself. Some days just making it into the shower can be horrendous.

Mintychoc1 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:46:16

When my brother died I read books - trashy Hollywood novels that bore no resemblance to real life, so I was able to block out the real world temporarily.

user100987 Sat 11-Nov-17 18:16:34

Really feel for you. I also have no children and very limited contact with parents (who are largely unsupportive). It WILL get better. You WILL meet someone else in time and have a good life. But right now be really gentle with yourself. Difficult to advise on what to do without knowing what you enjoy but maybe tonight get stuck into a box set this weekend which will get you through to Monday. Would definitely advise joining a Gym and try some group classes. I’m in a book club and absolutely love it but appreciate you won’t find one overnight. One step at a time.

Bruceishavingfish Sat 11-Nov-17 18:25:55

I am going through similar. We have seperated. But as sad as I am, I know its the right thing.

Mn helps me when its gets bad. Going for a walk or a drive helps. I have said yes to more nights out than I usually would. Just keeping busy.

It doesnt feel like it now. But it slowly gets less painful.

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