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Teetotal and on Tinder- doable?

(28 Posts)
ohmadays Fri 10-Nov-17 23:08:17


I'm in my mid-20s, rather lonely and thinking about trying out online dating.
I took a year out from uni (due to an illness) early this year. I'm making a good recovery and have learnt to drive.

I'm still on medication and will be for another 6 months at least. I was told that I should not be drinking by my doctor. Therefore I've been teetotal for the last year, and have gotten used to making my excuses, being the designated driver etc.

I fell out of touch with a lot of people after I moved home, don't like sitting at home with my parents, thought I might as well try something new!

Has anyone had a positive experience of dating without drinking??

Thanks smile

Crabbo Fri 10-Nov-17 23:13:49

I don’t drink, met my husband on okcupid smile

ohmadays Fri 10-Nov-17 23:26:14

Good for you crabbo! I thought about okcupid but it seems a little too serious for what I want.

LesisMiserable Fri 10-Nov-17 23:30:40

I married my DH in July, nearly three years after swiping right smile . No drink was consumed that night. The first date, lots, but not the Tindering night 😏

Josuk Sat 11-Nov-17 00:09:39

Why is drinking a necessary condition for dating?
Drink coke, or something. Why is that a problem???
You don’t need to have a reason why you don’t drink at the moment - or ever. You can say - medical reasons, or that you just don’t like it.

Do you think the men you’d date would only want you when you are drunk?

Ellisandra Sat 11-Nov-17 00:48:37

I don't really understand the question!
I've been teetotal my whole life (simply hate the taste of alcohol) and it's never impacted my dating like - online or otherwise.

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Sat 11-Nov-17 01:05:52

Ellisandra, well it's just many people find a drink helps then to relax and be more themselves on a 1st date with a stranger - some find it nerve-wrecking if they fancy the guy (or if they dislike him, drinking helps to be tactful/more good-humoured). Maybe OP never dated without that aid before!

LemonysSnicket Sat 11-Nov-17 01:08:26

As someone in their early 20s I feel I should warn you that tinder is more of a sex app than a dating app.

Shoxfordian Sat 11-Nov-17 07:22:49

I think you should put a line in your profile to say you don't drink so people who meet you aren't expecting to drink with you.

Another vote for Ok Cupid though, its where I met my lovely boyfriend

TheFifthKey Sat 11-Nov-17 07:24:18

I met my boyfriend on Tinder and our first two dates were extremely sober and quite sedate (walks/coffee) - it was for reasons of circumstance rather than by choice but still very enjoyable and didn’t hinder us getting together at all!

free2017 Sat 11-Nov-17 08:19:48

I don’t drink and when I dated it was not a problem. My friends used to tease me on a night but at the end I was useful as I was the only one who knew the way home grin. You will be fine OP. Goodluck smile

ChinwagCharlieBear Sat 11-Nov-17 08:40:12

I'm in my early 20s and haven't touched a drop of alcohol in my life. This has made no difference to dating/relationships at all, I am fine with others drinking. With my DP we ended up in a bar for our first date and I just had diet coke while he had a beer or two! It has never been a problem with previous dates (two who I have met on Tinder)

ohmadays Sat 11-Nov-17 10:33:50

Hmm. Thanks for the heads up Lemony.

I ask because almost every single encounter I've had with an attractive fella has involved alcohol. It'd be a bit weird for me trying to relax while sober.

BatshitCrazyWoman Sat 11-Nov-17 10:57:17

I divorced an alcoholic, and although I do drink ( a glass or two of wine a week at most ) I knew when online dating that I absolutely didn't want even one date with someone who 'needed' to drink to relax. I never found dating an issue despite that (met someone on Plenty of Fish). Go for a coffee!

PsychedelicSheep Sat 11-Nov-17 11:25:11

Tinder is no more a sex app than any of the others. Plenty of people on there looking for casual and serious relationships.

PsychedelicSheep Sat 11-Nov-17 11:26:25

Personally I think it’s the best one because no one can message you unless you’ve matched with them first. So you don’t get inundated with messages from guys you wouldn’t consider dating.

Ssdw Sat 11-Nov-17 12:00:48

I dont think it will matter as most of the guys just match and never talk... or exchange a few messages but never make it to a date :/
I guess you can say im getting a bit cynical about it.
Being a teetotal is certainly not a reason why you shouldnt try Tinder or any other dating app. I dont find it being a hook up app. My profile makes it clear what im looking for. No matter what dating site or app you use, there will always be men who claim to want a relationship but only really want a hookup.
I guess there might be men who wouldnt want to date a teetotal for whatever reason, so you might only be a good match for a smaller number of men, but im sure there are plenty who wont mind and there are other teetotals on it too.

User452734838 Sat 11-Nov-17 12:05:14

I don't drink and to be honest, while I don't mind people drinking, i find the smell of the alcohol in them a bit of a turn off if they have had a lot.

bufin Sat 11-Nov-17 12:16:17

Tinder is not a sex app. Unless you put overtly sexy pics up and say you're looking for sex.

userxx Sat 11-Nov-17 15:15:18

That's why they were attractive, because you were pissed 😎. You can definitely date without alcohol involved. Give tinder a go, it's as much of a hook up site as all the others.

LesisMiserable Sat 11-Nov-17 18:03:44

A sex app?! What absolute bollarks.

SummatFishyEre Sat 11-Nov-17 18:05:45

I met my boyfriend on tinder and I dont drink. I think he found it a bit awkward at first but he got over it pretty quickly. Just go for a coffee

lottieandmia22 Sat 11-Nov-17 18:06:38

Lots of young people don’t drink - personally id view it as a positive thing

forumdonkey Sat 11-Nov-17 19:19:36

I met my bf on tinder and we both drove the first few dates so no drinking. Our dates were in bars but no alcohol and our first date was 4 hours long and would have been longer if we'd not had other commitments. Good luck OP, I genuinely have never been happier but I kissed a lot of frogs until I found my prince

Josuk Sat 11-Nov-17 21:27:38

OP - I also wanted to add that if you can’t relax when you meet someone - and need alcohol to do that - then i’d be a little 😳.
What makes you so tense around men?

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