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Money matters

(5 Posts)
Snowdrop567 Fri 10-Nov-17 18:41:41

Second marriage for both of us. I had own house with small mortgage. When we married he paid off my mortgage. This means he now owns 1/3.
It was his suggestion that we kept separate bank accounts. Me working. Him early retirement with pension. Joint account just for bills which we both put same amount into monthly. I agreed to this and thought it was fair. I inherited some money when my Mum died.
He doesn't do any DIY. I do what I can. It doesn't bother him if we have old furniture, ancient kitchen etc. When we do have anything done it's at my request. I have to pay for it. He will sometimes put in a very small amount. His income (40k plus) is a lot higher than my salary (19k) and I am feeling that this isn't fair. He doesn't get this. I work full time and he now has a small part time job plus pension. I always pay my way on holidays etc.
I'm unhappy in other ways too but just wanted to see if others think this financial arrangement is fair?
I know I agreed to it in the first place but didn't realise the full impact at the time.

pog100 Fri 10-Nov-17 18:56:36

If you are married you are a team. It's joint money to spent jointly after joint decisions. At least that's how I see it. On that basis, no it is in no way fair. I am not sure how long you have been married, but if you split the financial settlement also sees it jointly, at least after some time.
Just because you verbally agreed doesn't mean you have signed your life away in blood, it's not a contractual agreement, you are partners!

Ellisandra Fri 10-Nov-17 19:01:07

I don't think it's fair to put the same amount towards bills when you earn so differently and are married.

But if he's genuinely happy with older furniture, I don't see why he should pay for stuff he doesn't need - even half. If it's essential DIY, yes - but if it's a case of you fancying a new kitchen that's not needed, then no.

Ellisandra Fri 10-Nov-17 19:03:20

Have you actually legally protected your larger share of the house, Joint Tenants not Tenants in Common?

And how large was this inheritance? If you expect him to put more in from his salary, I think you should be willing to put more in from your inheritance.

Any children involved?

Snowdrop567 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:55:34

We've been married 10 years. No children together.
I mean necessary decorating, essential repairs to garage roof and replacing an ancient kitchen.
My inheritance was £20k, and was all spent on kitchen, garage roof repair and decorating. I also had to live on this when I was made redundant as I was out of work for 6 months.

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