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Are they just friends

(69 Posts)
Icema Fri 10-Nov-17 18:38:10

Help me please as I feel I'm being paranoid. My boyfriend of nearly a year is causing me some concerns. He is separated from his wife now for 5 years but yet to get divorced. He still meets up with her for a drink. He goes to her home and just let's himself in. He spends every Christmas day with her and there 21 year old son. He cooks there dinner and then they sit with there son whilst he opens presents .he still provides money every week to. He also has a lady friend at the pub he drinks in daily. They have exchanged phone numbers. He gives her lifts home and they message and chat regularly. He flirts with her as does she with him. And he smacks her bum. But when I confront him he says they are both just his friends. His son and wife have both verbally attacked me and my boyfriend says he will always stand by them. Am I being paranoid or do I have a cause for concern. Please help.

ShatnersWig Fri 10-Nov-17 18:39:23

You don't need help. You just need to dump his sorry arse.

BibbidiBobbidi Fri 10-Nov-17 18:41:04


He’s making a mug out of you.

PsychoPumpkin Fri 10-Nov-17 18:42:03

Yes, your concerns are valid. He’s showing you zero respect and tried to put you in last place behind his ex wife.

He may not have slept with the woman from the pub but he blatantly wants to!

Leave him, you deserve better!

PNGirl Fri 10-Nov-17 18:42:34

You are just another woman admirer to him. I really would move on because you aren't a priority.

schoolgaterebel Fri 10-Nov-17 18:47:45

Run like your tampon string is on fire!

Pinkpillows Fri 10-Nov-17 19:16:03

Run like your tampon string is on fire!

Exactly this, funny but true 😂

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Fri 10-Nov-17 19:18:20

Get out of that relationship now. He has no respect for you 😓

GreatStar Fri 10-Nov-17 19:22:31

Get away from this relationship asap. Just no good on any level for you.

chatty1234 Fri 10-Nov-17 19:45:05

The only friends they are is one with benefits. Get out now.

Gemini69 Fri 10-Nov-17 19:55:32

what did I just read...

get out of there.... flowers

Angrybird345 Fri 10-Nov-17 20:00:23

Walk away

flutterby12 Fri 10-Nov-17 22:04:26

LTB flowers

Wellonlyifihavetoo Fri 10-Nov-17 23:09:27

Please LTB life is far too short to be stuck with a twat like him flowers

Icema Sat 11-Nov-17 11:06:29

Thank you all for your advice. I have spoken to him on numerous occasions about the situation. And he explains that him and his wife will always be friends and that's all. He says the lady in the bar is just a friend to and he don't remember even smaken her backside. He claims he will never hurt me and I am the one for him. He says if I were going to shit on you would I speak every night on the phone to you, would I offer you lifts to places I need to be and would I support you when I lost my father a few months ago. So I guess I am feeling a little out of sort because of my late fathers passing. But I just don't want to be made to look at idiot because at this point in my life that's how I feel.

Gemini69 Sat 11-Nov-17 11:24:24

Bollocks OP.. he is manipulating you on a grand scale.. gas lighting you... this guy is using you for home comforts and openly seeing other people... you're emotionally vulnerable because of the loss of your dear Father and he's just used this against you... disgusting... shock

Get rid of this idiot OP ... please.. please ... find the strength to leave this situation... you deserve so much better Lady flowers

Trills Sat 11-Nov-17 11:29:56

He claims he will never hurt me and I am the one for him

He already HAS hurt you with his behaviour.

ShatnersWig Sat 11-Nov-17 11:35:51

Icema Please wisen up and toughen up and dump his arse now.

I say this as a man who genuinely has had a female best friend for over a dozen years.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 11-Nov-17 11:42:17

Why are you with him at all?. You are being used and he has no respect for you whatsoever. He targeted you really and has used your late father's death to further exploit your already low state. He is truly the lowest of the low.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 11-Nov-17 11:44:30

Sorry but third in line wouldn't be good enough for me.

yetmorecrap Sat 11-Nov-17 11:45:11

Out of interest, why did he and his wife split? It’s fairly common to stay friends , but not so common to put them first with grown up children if you have a new partner

TammySwansonTwo Sat 11-Nov-17 11:46:14

What does speaking on the phone to you have to do with not shitting on you? He's a man child. Get out of there!

Gemini69 Sat 11-Nov-17 12:05:12

his behaviour sounds repulsive and a pure player OP... flowers

Decemberqueen Sat 11-Nov-17 14:36:41

I will repeat what I said on the other thread. Good to see you've started your own thread. Get rid of him. How old is he? Find someone who deserves you. Some partners might not have a problem with his behaviour (not many judging from the posts above) but it annoys YOU. That's enough. You've only been together a year. His ex and son have been rude to you and from what you've said he hasn't stood up for you. Why put yourself through all this shit? Better to be single (which can be fun actually) than dealing with all that crap when you have the choice to eliminate it from your life.

PNGirl Sat 11-Nov-17 17:08:51

Course he would. Lifts and phone calls are easy!

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