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Don't know how to leave(8 Posts)
Background... have been with my husband for 6.5 years and married for 2.5 and have a 15mo child. He is a contractor and earns approx £90k a year in a ltd company. I was made redundant a couple of months ago as I was about to return to work so although I have 40% shares in his company, I don’t really have any income of my own. We own our home and it has approx £180k equity in it.
I never thought this would happen but I just can’t stand living with my husband anymore. He’s so horrible to me, everything is an argument, he snaps at me all the time, I feel like my life has just become a battle ground and I’m completely worn down. He also prioritises socialising with friends over spending time with me & our child which often means I’m left doing the childcare at the weekend too. I’m miserable.
I do plan on trying to speak to him seriously about it instead of it turning into the inevitable argument, maybe even suggesting counselling but wtf do I do if I do decide to leave him?
I’ve no money and no job (I am looking but can’t seem to get anything and certainly can’t afford the Nursery fees and bills by myself on what I would earn which would be £25-£30k)
Practically what would I do? Where would we live? What would I do with all of our stuff in the meantime? Is this why people stay in unhappy marriages?
You need to take legal advice as soon as poss
The welfare of your child will be of importance in as much that the child must be maintained and have a home, you could benefit from that.
The problem is I can’t pay a lawyer as my husband will wonder where £300 or whatever the fee would be had disappeared to from the account.
You might be able to get a free half hour consultation to get you started. You'll be entitled to a proportion of the marital assets and child support. Divorce costs may be paid by him eventually.
You'll probably need a good understanding of the financial situation with him running a company so see what paperwork you can copy.
I know all the details of the company. I set it up and have access to everything.
Tbh I’d rather save my marriage but I just don’t think he loves me anymore. He won’t even sit next to me on the couch if I ask him to. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.
I know I would get assets post divorce but what on earth do people do in the meantime? Where would we live? I can’t pay the mortgage so presumably I’d have to move out but I’m not willing to take my toddler to a homeless unit
This is why you need to take advice.
Find a lawyer that gives free advice.
Could you stash some cash away by getting cashback every time you do a supermarket shop? Maybe only £10/£20 at a time but open yourself a new bank account and put it there. Even just to build up £500 to speak to a lawyer.
Yes I could save up that’s true. I take money for my own spends anyway so I could keep some of that aside every month.
I’m going to have a serious talk with him and save some money in the meantime.
Would I be able to just take half of the money in the joint savings account? I could probably rent somewhere for a year if I did that.
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