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Husband has lost his spark

(4 Posts)
pcos16 Fri 10-Nov-17 16:26:02

So i feel like my husband has lost his sexy spark if you get what i mean! How can i spice thing up get him back to his old self again i need ideas i am running out on things to to/ say! He hasnt touched me in that way for a while now and im worried he doesn find me sexy any more!

MissConductUS Fri 10-Nov-17 16:43:48

This can be a relationship type issue but it is also physical/medical far more often than people realize. Men produce less testosterone as they age and by their mid 40's fully a third have low enough levels to affect their libido and mood.

Male Menopause

Low Testosterone

This happened to my DH around age 46 or 47. He figured out what was happening before I did (I'm an HCP) went to his GP and got tested. That was the problem. The doc put him on replacement therapy and he was back to being a randy bugger in no time. grin

Your DH should get it tested if for no other reason than to rule it out. Low T has very real risk for causing cardiovascular disease in the long run, it is nothing to muck about with.


TammySwansonTwo Fri 10-Nov-17 18:11:27

Hormones can have a massive effect here as mentioned - my hormone levels make or break my sex drive, its either 0% or 100%

I'd start there

MissConductUS Sat 11-Nov-17 15:31:51

pcos16 I was hoping you'd reply at some point and then had a thought. Have you already asked your DH to see his doctor about this and he's refused?

This is quite common, both because the man feels embarrassed to discuss the problem and because many men are born with a bone in their heads that tricks them into thinking that if they don't go to the doctor they can't have a medical problem (just kidding, sort of).

I mention low testosterone and cardiovascular disease above. See this:

Testosterone and cardiovascular disease in men

The reason for the relationship is simple. Men need testosterone to have healthy muscles. This is why athletes take it illegally. It helps them grow bigger, stronger muscles. The heart is the biggest, most important muscle a man has. It doesn't do well repairing and maintaining itself without a proper level of testosterone. There's also some evidence that low T is associated with atherosclerosis - the accumulation of plaque in the arteries.

Do urge him to talk to his doctor about it, but frame it as a concern for his health, not his lack of libido. That may make it a bit easier for him to approach his GP with the issue.

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