Always looking at other women.

[Paige78]

Hi , well this has been going on for years now and I've had enough.My husband always is saying he loves me and has no interest in other women.Its just when I am out with him he's always looking at other women and this upsets me.When we are out and other women are present he says he gets anxious,but this only seems to happen when out with me.I have told him that he looks at others all the time but he denies it.I now see him looking from the corner of his eye and not move his head because he thinks I don't notice.He has also changed jobs and works with women in an office,which is a worry to me but he says he's not doing anything wrong and it's me who needs help.

[swingofthings]

You're the one with the issue.

[Pinkpillows]

What is he doing when he looks? Stares? Checks out their arse?

[Ifailed]

How would you feel if your DH gave you a list of things you can and cannot look at?

[hellsbellsmelons]

Do you not trust him?
Is there a history of him cheating on you?

[RavingRoo]

It’s rude to blatently check out a woman when you’re with a woman full stop. My male friends and colleagues wouldn’t do it out with me, let alone their wives and girlfriends.

[Ifailed]

Presumably, RavingRoo, whilst in the company of a male colleague you avert your eyes from any other man present?

[user1480334601]

Try and enjoy yourself when out and about with DP instead of anxiously searching for attractive women in the area then looking at your partners eyes to see if he's looking. It sounds exhausting.

[RavingRoo]

@ifailed - and women. I’m bisexual and yet my eyes don’t trail after men and women ‘without my control’. That’s nonsense peddled by skeevy people.

[Pinkpillows]

A gentleman wouldn't treat his wife or other women like this to be honest.

More I read here more women want to become the cool wife let the man do what he likes because its natural

It's also natural to respect your wife though at the same time.

[Tinkerbec]

Its just rude. Yes if in eyelinebut checking out. Not nice.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

Is he checking other women out; or looking at them?

There’s a massive difference, and what he is actually doing will hugely affect how you resolve this.

[Bluebell9]

What do you mean about looking at other women? Do you mean staring and ogling them?

I look at lots of people all the time. Sometimes they happen to be in the direction I'm looking in, or I like there coat/hairstyle. I like to people watch. It doesn't mean I want to have an affair or even fancy any of them and my DP would never have an issue with it.

It sounds like he feels anxious about it when you are with him as you have made an issue out of it.

I'm the only female in my office, but my DP trusts me.

[GinisLife]

What Bluebell says.

Get a grip and stop worrying about nothing. What's he supposed to look at ? The wall ? The floor ? How do you know he's looking at women ?? You'll drive him away if you don't stop being so paranoid/jealous/childish. Pick any one you like.
Any workplace has women in it as well in the main. You can't control him. Let it go. Grrrr

[swingofthings]

A gentleman wouldn't treat his wife or other women like this to be honest.
I disagree. If I see a good looking man, I look, in the same way that I notice children who are exceptionally good looking, nice cars, nice gardens etc...

Appreciating something nice doesn't mean you don't appreciate what you've got or want to give it for someone else. I think my OH is very good looking (even though he isn't by normal standards) but why should that stop me looking at others.

DH never looks at other women and I don't get it. If I see a stunning one, I will notice her and my initial thought is 'what a gorgeous woman' and point her out to DH, but he rarely notices before me!