Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What are my options?

(7 Posts)
JollyRanchers Fri 10-Nov-17 10:23:51

I really need some advice.

I'm 23 and have been living at my mums house, (with my current partner) since I split up with my abusive ex around three years ago. Unfortunately she suffers from Bipolar she it's becoming extremely uncomfortable to live with. I do all the cooking/washing/cleaning but it's becoming too much.

I can't afford a mortgage yet so we're looking at renting. The rent here is around £600 for a 2 bed flat/house.

I earn £17,000 but already have a lot of outgoings, my car (which I need to get to work) costs me £250 a month, including insurance and tax. I lost my job in April, got into a little bit of debt only around £1k, which I'm aiming to pay back monthly.

I also have to pay £277 a month for my CIPD HR course, I can't drop this as my earning potential will increase once I'm qualified. I should be paid more than I am, but it's an on going battle with my employer and one I feel I'll probably lose. I've only been with the company for three months.

There's not much left at the end of my wage already. DP and I would share the rent/living costs but I don't know if realistically I can afford it. We have enough for deposits, first months rent and application fees.

I'm sorry if this is a garbled mess. I'm really stressed. I want my mum to get better but she refuses her medication and continues to drink herself to death. We can't stay here but I'm not even sure what my options are. My credit rating is crap, my ex made sure of that for me. Stupid me just let it get worse and worse by burying my head in the sand. I've worked on that, the debt is down and I'm trying to better myself by studying in the evenings. sad

pinkyredrose Fri 10-Nov-17 10:28:02

Are you sure you really want to live with your DP or do you really just want to get out of your Mums place? Also why do you do everything around the house, wtf is he doing, sat on his arse? This will continue if you live with just him.

Smeaton Fri 10-Nov-17 10:32:39

Its funny you've listed your finances and not the OHs.
Why a two bed? If its just you and him?

JollyRanchers Fri 10-Nov-17 10:37:08

Maybe I didn't make myself clear or go into enough detail.

DP has a four year old DD who he has over nights at the weekend at his mums house, she has her own room there and he gets to spend quality time with her family there. We all do something together a few evenings a week with her then we drop her to her mums.

DP earns £20,000 as an assistant manager and has told me not to worry about the deposit/rent up front he will take care of that. He also pays some towards my mums mortgage and he'll usually buy the food shop each week for all of us. He's amazing, he really takes care of us.

I don't want this to be a thread on scrutinising him, he does so much for both of us. We have stayed at home to try save for a mortgage but it's just not comfortable here.

JollyRanchers Fri 10-Nov-17 10:37:42

What happens to mum when I leave? sad

pinkyredrose Fri 10-Nov-17 10:54:33

Can she get a carer? Sounds like she needs one, could you contact her Gp about her needs and what the options are?

If your partner's so amazing why is he leaving all the washing, cooking and cleaning to you?

Smeaton Fri 10-Nov-17 11:00:28

£37k between you should be more than enough to rent a place.
Should be around £2200ish a month in your pockets.
£600 rent
£150 council tax
£40 fuels
£10 insurance

Still £1400 ish left.

You wouldn't be living in luxury but its perfectly possible to do.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now