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I'm so so so fucking stupid!!!

(24 Posts)
Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:06:22

I’ve started a new job but today was end of probation.. they want to extend! Totally unjustifiably but that’s another story.

So come home today as down as anything, OH asks why, feeling low and I tell him.

Normal behaviour you would think!? But whilst he was sympathetic tonight.....I know in weeks/months to come that he’ll throw it back at me. You weren’t even good enough to be accepted first time ... blah blah!

So for a moment of comfort I now face mo this and months of making me feel shit!

Please just hold my hand, I feel so shit!

FetchezLaVache Thu 09-Nov-17 21:08:09

That's awful. You're living in the knowledge that this setback is being stored up to use against you in the future. Your user name is very well chosen.

How long have you been with him and what's the set up? Any DCs, do you live together?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 21:08:58

You know he's going to be a total twat to you in a few weeks/months time. So why would he still be in your life to get the opportunity to be a shit?

Pinkpillows Thu 09-Nov-17 21:10:28

It's not your fault, its your husband making You feel like this. Your not shit companies often do this no big deal

You'll be on perm contract in no time keep up the good work and it'll pay off, don't let anyone make you think otherwise flowers

RandomMess Thu 09-Nov-17 21:11:21

Time to ditch the H by the sounds of it!

Ellisandra Thu 09-Nov-17 21:11:49

Why are you still with him?

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:13:46

I’m just sat her with tears streaming down my face. Shit shit day...told him half the day but what’s the point in telling it all!

Been with him forever, grown up DCs.

Feel so down.

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:14:31

Why am I still with him........total lack of self confidence or self worth I suppose?

Katanna Thu 09-Nov-17 21:15:03

Leave before he has the chance.

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:16:22

I can’t leave now, need secure job

coffeecow Thu 09-Nov-17 21:16:56

What on earth?! He sounds horrible. Surely the first thing you would want to do in a situation like that is seek comfort from your partner. Sounds like you deserve so much more.

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:17:34

Please though I know people are right, could someone just hold my hand tonight?

RandomMess Thu 09-Nov-17 21:18:26

flowers you deserve better than that and slowly you will get there ((hugs))

Swizzlesticks23 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:18:36

Just kick ass for the rest of your probation then kick his ass out !

You can do it op ❤️

MrsGrindah Thu 09-Nov-17 21:19:10

Here’s a hand and a hug OP. Shit days pass remember

SandyY2K Thu 09-Nov-17 21:20:55

Did they mention any issues with your performance before today? If not it's bad practice to just extend without highlighting any issues beforehand?

I work in HR and when mangers want to extend probationary periods do near the end I tell then they can't ... if they've never raised issues beforehand.

Feel free to PM me for further guidance. Have you read the company policy on probation?

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:23:06

Cheers sandy! I will xxxxx

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:23:49

Thanks random, Swiss and mrs xx

Pinkpillows Thu 09-Nov-17 21:23:49

OP focus on tomorrow, sort Your job out first make this your main priority don't give a second thought to the rest and once you get there you'll have more options available to you. Just relax for tonight over thinking things won't help you

Stressalot42 Thu 09-Nov-17 21:24:18

Thanks pink x

Stressalot42 Wed 22-Nov-17 13:40:47

Sandy I tried to PM you but it says you don't take PMs? Could you PM me?

Thank you

Allabitmuchisntit Wed 22-Nov-17 17:10:38

I relate to this completely op. You feel like you've basically handed him ammunition on a plate. It's a horrible, exhausting way to feel. This was my ex's favourite thing to do. Use things I had previously confided in him about, in arguments however far down the line. I just stopped telling him anything. There was no line he would not cross to hurt me and try and make me feel inadequate and stupid. I feel for you I really do. Talk on here. You can do better than him. You really really can.

Stressalot42 Wed 22-Nov-17 18:31:25

Thanks Allab, he has absolutely no boundary whatsoever! Like you say! Even historic sexual abuse I've suffered has been used against me.

I don't normally tell him anything but was at a low point last week.

I will wait and it'll happen and once it's said it'll be done and I won't live in fear of it anymore.

Cambionome Wed 22-Nov-17 18:40:33

That sounds awful op. sad
Stay strong and keep going - you will get through this!

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