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I want the spark back

(13 Posts)
Hoplittlerabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 17:46:16

Well that’s it really. DP and I have been together 2.5 years, I still fancy him and love him but we rarely have sex now. He loves me too, will cuddle etc but I sometimes feel like I’m “looking after” him rather than being his girlfriend. I can’t remember the last time we snogged or he initiated anything with me.
Sorry if this is TMI but he would just get himself aroused then do his business leaving me feeling like he’s put no effort in to please me.
I cannot remember the last time he went down on me, or played with me.
Do you think he’s just lost interest in me?
He’s very tired due to work I understand that but it never used to stop him before. I don’t want us to end up falling into a relationship that’s more like “mates”.
What can I do? I’m not losing interest because I get the feeling he shags me sometimes because he feels obligated to.
I talked to him about it because it’s affecting my self-esteem but he insists he does fancy me and think I’m beautiful etc. But he doesn’t compliment me anymore and the lack of sex suggests otherwise.
Anyone else had this?

Hoplittlerabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 17:47:13

I’m now losing interest I meant

Beowulf007 Thu 09-Nov-17 17:50:53

Maybe he has a low sex drive. Either that or he's getting it somewhere else. Hopefully the former, so you could initial sex more, go down on him etc and go for extendes foreplay which may stimulate affection. If he doesn't like that and isn't keen he's 100% gay.

Hoplittlerabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 17:56:15

grin at the gay comment.

Well his sex drive wasn’t low before! For the first 2 years he couldn’t get enough of me. He’d only have to see a bit of flesh and he’d be all over me. That’s what’s making this so hard sad because he isn’t lol, pun intended

I don’t think he’s cheating, he wouldn’t have the time and I just don’t think he would. I know lots of women say that but he really isn’t like that. I think he may just have got bored of me

TammySwansonTwo Thu 09-Nov-17 18:20:45

Anti depressants? Other meds? Porn use? It seems quite strange.

User452734838 Thu 09-Nov-17 18:23:37

May just be bored like you say.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Thu 09-Nov-17 18:26:51

Sorry but you shouldn't have lost the spark 2 & half years in, that is no time at all.
If you've spoken about it & nothing has changed then it isn't going to, I'd be thinking about moving on.

TheNaze73 Thu 09-Nov-17 19:01:46

Sorry but, he sounds & is acting bored

Hoplittlerabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 19:05:10

Yeah that’s what I suspected. I’m not sure why though? I’m quite a bit younger than him and pretty and I’m always very keen for sex.
I suppose he may have had his head turned elsewhere 🤷🏼‍♀️

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Thu 09-Nov-17 19:32:59

Being young, pretty & up for sex doesn't mean your partner won't stray... hmm

Hoplittlerabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 19:55:15

NoFuckingRoom I never said it did? I was saying it in reference to why he’s lost interest. As far as I’m aware I’ve not changed.
He isn’t cheating, I would be my life on that. However he may have had his head turned and is comparing me to someone else he finds more attractive? Thus rendering me less attractive to him

Tinkerbec Thu 09-Nov-17 19:59:39

Maybe he is just tired or naturally has a low sex drive. We are all like rabbits in the beginning even the ones with a low drive. Maybe it’s just his natural rythmn.

I am sure he isn’t comparing you to someone else.

Hoplittlerabbit Thu 09-Nov-17 21:11:51

I understand he’s tired but why would he not want it at all?
My vagina is genuinely depressed

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