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To think it's not that easy to LTB?

(4 Posts)
Cantgetagoodusername Thu 09-Nov-17 07:57:35

Really hoping for some inspirational stories from others.

Since the birth of my DS earlier in the year my DH has changed beyond recognition. Gone is the amazing lovely man & replaced with an angry, mean, selfish & jealous (of baby) man.

I honestly don't know what's happened to him. He has admitted he's found DS difficult (health problems, never sleeping) but he is improving. He openly resents the time I've had to dedicate to DS. I've also been unwell since DS birth & am currently having investigations.

He seems so emotionally detached from me & the children. I've tried talking to him, to no avail. He acknowledges that he hasn't been 'himself' pressures of parenthood, some work & his family problems.

I'm so bloody unhappy, but feel trapped.

I'm back to work soon. I will be working 25 hours over 2 long shifts. I'm worried about the logistics of leaving. I would need to be in receipt of some benefits, would I find a landlord to rent to me? Do they exist? How would I manage working long shifts with childcare?

Obviously I know I have the option to change to a more child friendly job but this worries me too, I've been in my job a long time & would need/want the support of my work friends at a life changing time.

I do have an amount of money behind me, not loads but enough for deposits & moving costs.

It just seems so impossible confused I just don't know where to start.

grobagsforever Thu 09-Nov-17 08:24:13

Would you benefits with child support?

c3pu Thu 09-Nov-17 08:38:55

LTB is never easy, thats why you see thread after thread on here about people putting up quite frankly outrageously bad relationships.

However, just because it isn't easy, doesn't mean it shouldn't be done.

You may need to accept a drop in living standards, either temporary or permanent, but offset that against not being miserable due to having left the bad relationship and you'll almost always be better off.

ShizeItsWeegie Thu 09-Nov-17 08:39:00

I rent two houses to benefits recipients and have no problems with them. We have a good rapport and if they foresee problems they let me know straight away. I have helped them sort those problems out in the past and we have a good relationship and friendship. Don't tar all LLs with the same brush. LTB and be happy. Do whatever you need to get to that place.

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