So. This maybe long. Apologies, but I really need to know if I'm nuts, paranoid or what. I think I'm nuts but would love other opinions.
Married 14 years, together for 16 years but long friendship with two previous rounds of dating. So we've been in each others lives for over 30 years. Our marriage has had ups and downs but we just get on with it. I adore him, and he is my best friend.
We have had periods of time where our sex life wasn't great nor our communications, and will every now and then have a big barney and make up and things continue.
I am a more social person than my DH, with far more friends than him , of both sexes. He has in the past ,no friends he spends time with outside home - he just isn't made that way. It hasn't been an issue, we balance each other out.
But.
He has a fitness based hobby. It involves at least 3 sessions a week. There is an addtional session that he takes one of our DS to as well. I have been okay with this- it has veered into obsessiveness once last year, and he backed off a bit, but has now restarted ramping up the intensity.
This hobby is participated in by lots of very fit, single women as well as very fit professional blokes who compete in the sport. I am not fit and have some self-esteem issues. I have never met any of the people he trains with, or been asked to attend any of the events around this other than one a couple of years back ( and then the folk he trained with made no effort to meet me, nor did DH suggest it- I stayed with our son while he went over to say hi). I found this a bit rude , but some people are.
There was a weird period last year when he was training after my DS , so a random single mum I don't know was taking my DS to dinner with her every week. I found this out several weeks into it and felt a bit....eh? And commented. DH thought I was being weird for thinking it was weird, but my DS stopped the training later so it wasn't an issue. Recently, DH decided to attend an event to support one of the kids who
trains, and again it was a single mum. Initially my DS was going to go as he was friends with the kid then decided not to.No suggestion that I went and DH intends to still go. Again, I found this weird and blurted out this fact. I got a big lecture on how DH didn't have many friends, and that I shouldn't question him because it put him in the position of denying wrong doing when he hadn't done anything, and that made him look guilty. . So that put me in my place, but he ended up going with my DS and another kid.
Now I may well be nuts, but I grabbed his ipad today as I couldn't find mine, and he's friend requested some glamourous woman. I'm assuming she's from the training but it spun me out as I've never heard him mention her name.
I feel he doesn't want me to meet these people as I'm either an embarassment ( not huge size 16 but not an athlete), or I'm completely paranoid or ......
Recent other weirdness, had first haircut in years a few of months back and I mean years like over 10, and actually wants to buy clothes for first time in years again the same time frame. We have had an upswing in our relationship recently, so it could be for me but....(the haircut was before that, and he has never, ever wanted to buy clothes )
I don't know if I've been spending too much time on Mumsnet or what ....help.
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Going silently nuts - need advice from random strangers
8 replies
ohgodgoingmad · 07/11/2017 22:09
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