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I'm addicted to men

(6 Posts)
harryspotter Tue 07-Nov-17 21:02:06

This is hard to write so bear with me.

I think I am addicted to men. I've been single for a couple of years but in that time have dated a lot. Every single time I have got attached far too fast and got hurt. Yet I still crave male attention. All I can think to talk about is men I'm dating, men I've dated and current problems. I must be so unbelievably boring to talk to. I'm not stupid, I have some hobbies, yet dating seems to fill my life. I feel scared when I'm not dating anyone.

I 100% do not want to be like this and actually I get annoyed at friends who only think about men. I'm getting over the latest person that didn't work out and a good friend of mine told me a few home truths, which shocked me but deep down she is right. I have a low self esteem and low confidence, but I put on a very good front.

Right now I'm being ghosted by a guy I was dating and I feel like I'm drowning - the hurt is disproportionate to the length and depth of the relationship - I can see this.

I don't see a way out. I'm sure men pick up on this and thats why they always leave.

How can I change? I hate myself right now for becoming so shallow.

OhShit2017 Tue 07-Nov-17 21:09:44

I’m very similar, and have recently had counselling and will be starting cbt for this and other issues. Turns out a lot of this is linked to issues in my childhood, maybe worth exploring some kind of therapy to see if this is the case for you too?

MissConductUS Tue 07-Nov-17 21:11:16

Would you be open to a bit of psychological counseling to get to the root of where your low confidence and self esteem come from?

It sounds like you know exactly what is happening but not what to do about it.

RedForFilth Tue 07-Nov-17 21:15:48

It sounds less like an addiction to men and more like fear of being alone? I used to be the same, always dating someone etc. However, when I split with my son's dad over a year ago I finally didn't care about being alone. In fact I like it! I now date, well, have fwb's, and I'm not looking for anything more.
My advice would be stop dating! Figure out who you are, spend time doing new things and with friends. It may sound strange but I think being happy on your own is the first step to meeting someone special!

fortunacookie Tue 07-Nov-17 21:34:46

I’m same , blame it on my dad abandoning me at age 5...

Aquamarine1029 Tue 07-Nov-17 22:42:38

You're not addicted to men. You're desperate and starving for attention and a sense of stability. Lose the men and find a therapist who can help you understand yourself.

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