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I think DP is cheating and..

(9 Posts)
BreezedriftingOnBy Tue 07-Nov-17 10:32:48

...how do I kept it together while I sort my own head out, line up my ducks?

DP has been emotionally checked out on me/ relationship for a while it's felt. Through a friend of a friend I've found out something that didn't add up about a work project a while back. I don't have loads of info but my gut is telling me I'm right.

I want to thrash it out with him now but know it'll end up as I'm imagining it/ I'm a nightmare etc. In a drunken night with another friend recently she said that DP doesn't respect me, takes me for granted etc... So I wonder what is obvious to other people?

So please- your tips for managing to be around someone when you suspect but don't know what's going on??

Shoxfordian Tue 07-Nov-17 11:24:12

If you're unhappy then focus on that and its reason enough to consider leaving

You've said he's emotionally checked out and takes you for granted.

fantasmasgoria1 Tue 07-Nov-17 15:51:48

I would not wait and I would end things. I didn’t get ducks in a row etc because I wanted out so badly it was worth it. If you take a break or stay somewhere else for a while it may give you the space you need to get things straight in your head. I couldn’t wait I would have to confront him about the stuff that doesn’t add up.

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley Tue 07-Nov-17 15:54:11

If it will help to have an outlet, rant on here.

Wotapalaver Tue 07-Nov-17 16:01:18

The technique is you 'check out' too to some extent- that throws them!!

BreezedriftingOnBy Tue 07-Nov-17 16:24:03

I don't know, I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel if I say anything now it will get brushed under the carpet, DP will cover his tracks and i'll be even more in the dark than before.... so I think I have to try and sit it out while I get more of an idea, if that's possible??

<wota> any advice how to check out while this is going on? I think that's what I need to do but how???

IWouldLikeToKnow Tue 07-Nov-17 18:39:14

So sorry you are going through this. You don’t need to know what’s going on. If he’s already checked out of the relationship then whether or not he’s cheating doesn’t really matter anymore. You know the relationship is over even if you do t have any proof of the cheating.

CoyoteCafe Tue 07-Nov-17 19:31:08

You know enough to end your marriage right now. He is checked out. He doesn't treat you well.

In many, many ways, it doesn't matter whether or not there is another woman. You might be able to find proof of one, but he might be so good at covering his tracks that you won't find the proof. None the less, he is a shitty husband and you are miserable, so you can end the marriage.

ferriswheel Tue 07-Nov-17 20:12:04

Please get anything vital or precious out of the house. Out. Of. The. House.

Birth certificates, passports, bank details etc

Baby scans, baby photos, all photos etc

See a solicitor before you speak to your h.

I'm sorry. It's a long and awful road. We are all here for you.

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