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Husband seems different

(48 Posts)
Spacebound Mon 06-Nov-17 12:10:39

Hi, I don't really know how to describe it but lately my husbands personality seems different somehow. He feels distant, almost like he is bored of me/our relationship. I feel like he just can't be bothered with me. I said to him yesterday his personality seems different and he just said what do you mean there is nothing wrong with me. I feel like something isn't right but I just can't put my finger on it.

Also, sorry if this is tmi but he seems different in the bedroom too like a little more confident. I have noticed he wants to try different things like the other night he asked me to talk dirty which is not something we have really done before but he feels really disconnected like I'm just there to have sex with him and then that's it.

He has recently started running a few times a week and losing weight, could this have anything to do with it. He doesn't seem tired or anything though.

Am I just overthinking things or could there be more to it?? confused

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 06-Nov-17 12:12:03

How is he with his phone? Attached?

RatRolyPoly Mon 06-Nov-17 12:14:14

I think you already know the answer to your question, OP.

Trust the words you've written here - it's not in your head.

Spacebound Mon 06-Nov-17 12:14:42

Yes very, we have argued about it a lot lately. His friends are constantly texting him all night and if he is not doing that he will be looking on daily mail etc

Pinkpillows Mon 06-Nov-17 12:16:51

Only your husband knows why he is like this, I would have a nice dinner and ask him in a supportive way why you feel things have changed. Doesn't mean he is cheating just tell him how you feel and why, see what he says and go from there

diddlemethis Mon 06-Nov-17 12:33:43

One of the first warning signs for my marriage ending, was a change in his bedroom activity, more adventurous for him equalled major pork and OW. And also the being distant thing.

Who can say what’s happening? Ask him if you think you will believe his reply, and go looking.

diddlemethis Mon 06-Nov-17 12:34:36

Porn not pork! Although possibly fitting.

MsGameandWatching Mon 06-Nov-17 12:35:33

I think he’s interested in or us having an affair.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Mon 06-Nov-17 12:36:38

Buy him an actual newspaper and see if he is still on his phone a lot!!

Ilovetolurk Mon 06-Nov-17 12:38:12

I thought pork was deliberate
Personally OP I'd have a snoop of his phone if I could do it without it being suspicious

Then decide whether a chat is indicated (if ok) or something else

Shouldileavethedogs Mon 06-Nov-17 12:39:25


pog100 Mon 06-Nov-17 12:39:37

but not the Mail ...
It all sounds very suspicious to me, I would probe deeper, especially the phone activity to 'friends'

hellsbellsmelons Mon 06-Nov-17 12:47:23

You know that everything you have written points to an affair.
Do you have DC together?

Spacebound Mon 06-Nov-17 13:17:51

No we don't have any children. We have been together 15 years, married for 3.

I feel like I know deep down something is going on with him, I just never thought he would be that person

hellsbellsmelons Mon 06-Nov-17 13:27:31

No-one ever does.
We all say our DH would NEVER cheat.
They aren't the type etc.....
It happens every single day.
So what now for you?
He won't admit it so you will need to gather some evidence.
Can you access his phone? Tablet? Laptop?

Itsonkyme Mon 06-Nov-17 13:35:29

Sounds very much like he's "playing away" to me. You will have to be like a ninja and get a look in his phone or laptop.
Chill out with the questioning now, till he relaxes a bit but keep your eye on any opportunity to have a good look in there.
I really hope that I am wrong but if he is, you need to know.
No Smoke Without Fire! As they say!

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 06-Nov-17 13:38:46

major pork grin

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 06-Nov-17 13:39:30

Sorry posted too soon! Sorry OP but it’s almost like you’ve listed the points from a ‘signs your OH is having an affair’ article.

ISpeakJive Mon 06-Nov-17 13:54:08

His friends are constantly texting him all night

Are you sure it’s his friends?

Spacebound Mon 06-Nov-17 13:57:09

I'm pretty sure it is his friends but I think I am going to have to check his phone

Thinkingofausername1 Mon 06-Nov-17 15:00:54

Mmm I’m watching this thread!!

notapizzaeater Mon 06-Nov-17 15:04:05

Have you asked him if everything is ok ? Job worries ? Health ?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 06-Nov-17 15:04:28

Sorry Space but that doesn't sound like friends constantly texting him...

cherrycola2004 Mon 06-Nov-17 15:09:16

I’d def be suspicious. Can you get on his phone when he is asleep or is their a pass code ?

cherrycola2004 Mon 06-Nov-17 15:10:12

Also how old is he? Texting friends all night??? hmm

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