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Masterbating while I'm downstairs with the kids?!

(44 Posts)
User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 20:21:50

Hi just to everyone mums and dads to get advice because sometimes I feel I am so used to his behaviour I don’t know what’s acceptable and what isn’t.

So I’ve been with the kids (5 month old & 5year old) and both have been up with bad coughs through the night (I see to them). He was at work all day. Comes in goes upstairs shaves and goes in the shower....still waiting downstairs for him to spend some time with the kids. I take the kids upstairs to put them to bed walk in his naked about to masterbate I walk back out (awkward) and go in my sons room to read books. He comes in to say hello to the baby goes back to the room to finish himself off....

I just feel uncomfortable like wait until the kids are in bed? Or do it in the shower? Advice please? confused I just feel his a bit of a narcissist and because he goes out and works all day he can do what the hell he wants.

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 05-Nov-17 20:23:20

That's really fucking weird I would not gave that sad wait until the kids are bed fine but when they could walk in erm no!

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 05-Nov-17 20:23:46

* not have that

whitesklyer Sun 05-Nov-17 20:24:25

Would I be unkind calling your dh a bit of a wanker??

Deercatsnow Sun 05-Nov-17 20:24:33

Weird

Stormwhale Sun 05-Nov-17 20:24:38

No that is not normal or reasonable.

RunningOutOfCharge Sun 05-Nov-17 20:27:24

What do you mean by ‘about to’?

Bibbidee Sun 05-Nov-17 20:37:02

So he put himself first then? It sounds like you do everything in the home? Might this be why he just lets you crack on with everything while he cracks one off?!

User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 20:53:00

@Wishfulmakeupping I know I get the idea he just thinks of himself but then again he can’t read my mind. I just feel if I criticise he blows up? So maybe I should approach it. Normally I just hate him in my head and not approach the subject with him because of that...

User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 20:55:19

@Bibbidee yeah I suppose I do a lot I suppose I just carry on with it but it was more the fact he hadn’t seen the kids all day and fair enough shower whatever but to just lay on the bed and pull one off? It’s just weird

User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 20:56:05

@whitesklyer I felt the same

User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 20:57:32

@RunningOutOfCharge like he looked and said I was about to yeah so I took the kids back out

justdontevenfuckingstart Sun 05-Nov-17 21:01:00

Just say for gods sake can't you help me with your children, getting them to bed before you have to have your wank.

AtSea1979 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:01:32

You walked in and he said oh I was just about to have a wank? That's just weird. What if the DC walked in a minute later. Grim sad

Bibbidee Sun 05-Nov-17 21:08:17

It's smacks of (scuse the pun!) him putting his needs first and him assuming you'll pick up the slack as in sort the kids out. Time to draw up a proper working rota so he helps more and your needs and the kids needs are prioritised.

User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:10:13

@justdontevenfuckingstart first of all I enjoy your username grin second of all I like that! I think I just need to speak my mind but say it how it is!

User446688 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:12:22

@Bibbidee yeah I agree. I was just felt ‘is this a joke can you see I’m doing everything’ like fair enough he’s been at work but they are our responsibility not just mine. It’s not 1923!

Bibbidee Sun 05-Nov-17 21:20:18

No you have to explain to men what you want/need because 'we're not mind readers!' Ah, 'The Mental Load' strikes again.....!

Write this down somewhere only he can see it:

'When you come home from work, put the kids to bed THEN have a wank! 😆'

doodle01 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:21:14

Put lock on door
Stress relief by sound of it
Really no big deal not really weird bad timing maybe
There always seems to be the same theme the one whose been out all day returns and it’s time off for the one at home
So the one whose been out all day has to immediately assume the role of the one whose been exhausted by that same role
Why not just accept your both tired
I don’t care what anyone says working outside the house is far harder than working at home I’ve done both and would take the home working any time

ButchyRestingFace Sun 05-Nov-17 21:49:50

Is this the start of International Masturbation Week or something? confused

C8H10N4O2 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:54:31

Is this the start of International Masturbation Week or something

Only on MN as far as I can see. hmm

crimsonlake Sun 05-Nov-17 22:34:43

Well said Doodle01, I have noticed this a lot on mn.

NotTheFordType Sun 05-Nov-17 22:50:49

I take the kids upstairs to put them to bed walk in his naked about to masterbate I walk back out (awkward) and go in my sons room to read books. He comes in to say hello to the baby goes back to the room to finish himself off.... [sic throughout]

So which room was this?

WeAllHaveWings Sun 05-Nov-17 23:09:37

So the one whose been out all day has to immediately assume the role of the one whose been exhausted by that same role

Any parent I know that has been out at work all day can’t wait to get home and spend time with their dc before bedtime. During the working week there is only a short time to see them, it’s not about switching roles, it’s about wanting to see your young dc.

Op’s dp decides straight to shower and then a leisurely wank on the bed when he knows it’s the kids bedtime, instead of seeing them. He is literally a walker.

WeAllHaveWings Sun 05-Nov-17 23:10:33

wanker autocorrect!

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