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Left for someone else...

(9 Posts)
sometimeslifeishard Sun 05-Nov-17 18:47:22

How am I supposed to cope with this? My partner of almost 10 years has left me for another woman, who has also left her partner. We bought our home a year ago, and now he does this. I just want him to realise how much of a mistake he's making - but he won't listen. He thinks they're in love, how can I make him see it's not her he loves, it's the excitement! I'm going to lose everything.

FellOutOfBed2wice Sun 05-Nov-17 18:49:14

In the nicest possible way, you can’t and unfortunately if he doesn’t want to stay he doesn’t have to. It’s fucking awful but it will improve and you’ll meet someone who would never dream of leaving you for someone else. What are you doing about the house?

sometimeslifeishard Sun 05-Nov-17 18:51:40

I don't know. The ball is in my court with that.

pinkliquorice Sun 05-Nov-17 18:57:26

I’m sorry flowers
But you don’t know he’s making a mistake and he probably does actually love her.
You deserve the same, be strong and move on

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 05-Nov-17 19:01:19

That's awful and I'm sorry you're having a hard time. But you don't want to be with someone who doesn't love you and wants to be with someone else.

Take one day at a time and think about you want that doesn't involve your ex.

BlueFlowerPot Sun 05-Nov-17 19:07:21

sometimeslifeishard so sorry to hear that. I know you probably have the worst time ever now. Try not to think into the future, live day by day, make plans just for next couple of days otherwise you will make yourself more depressed and in despair. Unfortunately, if he left you like this now, a big damage has been done and he must of had deep feelings and reasons to do that, and trust me even if you went back together, it would eventually happen again, he does not love you fully. If I can recommend, get the Louise Hay book You can heal your heart, very motivational xx

TheFormidableMrsC Sun 05-Nov-17 19:07:55

I love it when people just say "move on". I am four years on from my husband leaving me for somebody else and I am only just starting to feel normal. I wish people would stop using that term, it's so hugely minimising of the pain and grief that you feel. It is hugely difficult to untangle a long term relationship, let alone the enormous emotional turmoil that goes with it. Pinkliquorice with all due respect, I don't think the OP needs to hear what you've just said at this stage.

OP, all I can say to you is, he's done it, he is responsible, if he's made a mistake, that is his to deal with. Take some legal advice, go through finances. Talk as much as you can, I benefited from a lot of counselling. Make sure you try and eat a bit, sleep a bit, do everything as well as you are able to cope with and the rest will follow.

I am so sorry you're going through this, it's a process that is so very hard to come to terms with but ultimately, I certainly have realised now that my ex-husband leaving was the best thing for both me and the children in the long run. He's not who I thought he was and your ex-partner is probably going to be much the same. I wish you lots of luck with this journey flowers

user1493423934 Mon 06-Nov-17 03:05:34

See a lawyer asap. Cry when you need to. Get a great counsellor! So sorry you're going through this. Stay strong. Oh and don't worry too much about the future - one day at a time.
Sorry you're going through this. flowers PM me if you want to.

SandyY2K Mon 06-Nov-17 08:46:07

You can't make someone love or be with you.

It's hard ... It's heartbreaking ... but time will help. It's early days for you.

You deserve a man that wants to be with you.

Apart from sorting out the house and any other joint assets... going NC is required.

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