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Nothing in common with friends

(7 Posts)
Beachcountrysidetown Sun 05-Nov-17 10:42:31

I have a group of friends. I moved to a new area after having children so made friend with fellow mums. We have been a little group for a few years now - play dates with the kids, dinners out etc. The children are getting older now and naturally my friendship group is growing apart but I have realised that I have absolutely nothing in common with these ladies apart from the normal husband moans, school chat, local town chat, taking about the kids.... we share no hobbies, are in non of the same type of work and actually I have realised have totally different priorities. I can feel I am also being left if of a few things which is fine because they obviously feel like I’m not actually very similar to them but it upsets me that I have realised I have no friends really. How do I deal with this? Make new friends?

wobblywonderwoman Sun 05-Nov-17 10:45:03

You're lucky. I moved go a new area and know no one. I only really gave work friends and you don't always want to rely on work as a social outlet.

I wouldn't ditch them.

Beachcountrysidetown Sun 05-Nov-17 10:47:38

It’s not that I’m ditching my friends wobbly. I haven’t been invited to a few things - the group is fragmenting and two will do something together... I am close to one of them and we have things in common and will meet up alone as well.

2014newme Sun 05-Nov-17 10:49:19

Could you generate something you do have in common, would any if them like to join a book group with you or WI or do a karate course or a flower arrangement night or a motorbike maintenance day.
Do any big them like country walks or crafts or canoeing or whatever?
I agree dint dithering them, find or create common interests. It's fun to try new things together!

Beachcountrysidetown Sun 05-Nov-17 10:57:33

We do actually do a lot of things together - dinners out (we all enjoy trying new restaurants) country walks at the weekend etc but the actual conversation is difficult.... like we only have very superficial things in common like husbands, children. For example I adore fashion but I can’t talk to them about clothes, makeup shoes etc because they aren’t into it at all and think it’s a total waste of time and money. Maybe I’m not explaining it well

meowimacat Sun 05-Nov-17 11:37:29

Get out there and make new friends. I'm all for meeting new people and not just sticking to the same circle of friends.
I struggle with the mums at DC's school because I can't relate to the husband chat (I'm a single mum), and it's that superficial chat about parent/school related things, or the competing with who's child can do what that after a few minutes I get bored of. Not saying they are all like that, but some are and I would find it suffocating to hang out with them all the time. There's so many people out there to meet, join a group or something where you can meet new people.

Thinkingofausername1 Sun 05-Nov-17 11:39:11

You are lucky, you have a friendship group who invite you out.
I’m never invited out, with so called school mums.
There is a terrible clique, at the gates and if you aren’t loud and proud; you just aren’t involved in anything.
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try. Keep going to things whilst you can, don’t isolate yourself unless they are actually causing drama and bitchiness. It doesn’t sound like that though.

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