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Am I asking too much?

(10 Posts)
Pipsqueaked Sat 04-Nov-17 14:48:33

I suffer with PND/ PTSD- today it's really difficult. My partner wants to go to the cinema this evening with his friends. I've asked him not to go because I need some support with the children. He has agreed but is clearly not happy. I have a night out booked next Friday and is asking me how I'd feel if he got me to cancel etc. I don't know why I'm posting I just feel unsupported and alone.

Pipsqueaked Sat 04-Nov-17 14:52:11

I should also add he struggles with depression. And most of the time I'm fine. Occasionally flashbacks to a previous rape crop up and I feel crappy for the rest of the day.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 04-Nov-17 14:55:51

Do you receive professional help?
Seems a bit double standards to expect him to stay in when you have a night out planed. .
You say he has depression which means he needs support too.
Maybe making the effort to support each other in having some time away from home /dc would be a positive step.
Have you a friend /relative who could keep you company that evening?

Pipsqueaked Sat 04-Nov-17 15:08:29

Yes, both receiving help and support. There is no one who could be here with me tonight.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 04-Nov-17 15:17:50

Can you focus on some time for yourself after the dc have gone to bed?
Book and a nice bath, something your dh wouldn't really choose on TV?
When it's your night out feeling supported to do so will mean you have a better time - and a guilt free time. Your dh deserves the same.
And there is always someone on here to help you through your night tonight.
What could you do to make bedtime easier alone? Skip bath time? Early night for the dc? Extra stories? Not sure the ages but if appropriate explain that they need to help with pj's etc as df isn't in and you are tired .

GinisLife Sat 04-Nov-17 15:52:13

Sorry but if you're planning on going out next Friday I don't see how you can expect him not to go tonight. Double standards. Cake and eat it. Call it what you like. You're a bit out of order imo

TammyswansonTwo Sat 04-Nov-17 16:33:38

How old are the kids? Are they likely to stay in bed once he's out or they be up and down all night?

If you're having a bad episode I'd expect him to cancel. There have been times when my physical health has been bad pre kids and if my husband has had plans he's cancelled them if I'm in a very bad way. The question is, if he were having a really bad time would you cancel your plans for him? If so it's not hypocritical to ask

backinthatdress Sat 04-Nov-17 16:50:54

Yes I think it's abit hypocritical when your going out next week,I would defo be abit peeved if I had to cancel a night out but my partner was going out less then a week later.

Can you not just focus on putting the kids to bed and relaxing on your own?

category12 Sat 04-Nov-17 17:09:23

I think, as long as he isn't out all the time, it's a bit off to get him to cancel. I mean, if he'd turn a night at the cinema into an all-nighter and come back in a state, you'd have a point. But on the face of it, I think managing for an evening would be the right thing.

Pipsqueaked Sat 04-Nov-17 18:53:08

We have a non sleeping baby and a 4 year old. He decided to postpone for tonight and has rearranged for tomorrow evening. Hopefully I will feel stronger by then.

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