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Am I right to be upset by this?

(19 Posts)
darksideofthemooncup Sat 04-Nov-17 13:07:35

Watching a programme on TV where a slightly overweight girl was bemoaning her weight in comparison to her friends who are all extremely slim. H turns to me and says 'I wish you were as fat as that' (I am overweight but had just returned from my 4th spin class this week as I'm making a concerted effort to lose weight, he is also quite overweight) the inference being that I am WAY fatter than her.
I told him to fuck off and he started shouting at me because he couldn't understand why I would take offence.
This is a snapshot of our 'relationship' but I'm starting to doubt myself as he has a way of twisting things to make me feel like I'm at fault.

TammyswansonTwo Sat 04-Nov-17 13:18:01

Did he mean that you're bigger than her, or did he mean he'd prefer you to be bigger?

Either way he's an arsehole but may help to know what sort of arsehole he is!

SandyY2K Sat 04-Nov-17 13:18:10

I would be upset too. Why did he feel the need to comment?

darksideofthemooncup Sat 04-Nov-17 13:20:40

That I'm bigger than her and he wishes I wasn't. So do I but it's the fact that he felt the need to comment and then refused to accept that I had a right to be upset that has really got to me.

SeamusMacDubh Sat 04-Nov-17 13:28:06

He doesn’t sound like a nice bloke to be honest.

You know you’re overweight, you’re exercising trying to lose some weight and improve your health, he knows this but still needed to make the comment that you’re fat and that it bothers him.

Is he being supportive of you exercising or is he just putting you down?

DownTownAbbey Sat 04-Nov-17 13:30:03

I bet you wish he wasn't such a bell end, and yet he persists in being one.

darksideofthemooncup Sat 04-Nov-17 13:31:15

Oh Downtown, how I wish I had come out with that grin

ElseaLove Sat 04-Nov-17 13:33:04

Next time a slimmer fella is on TV say the same thing. "Oh I wish you were as buddy as that..." And see how he likes it. <--- You probably shouldn't do that but I'm quite sensitive about my own weight. My DH knows this and wouldn't dare say anything like that.
Well done for trying to lose weight and do not let this put you off flowers

ElseaLove Sat 04-Nov-17 13:33:51

*buff. Ffs phone

Queenofthedrivensnow Sat 04-Nov-17 13:37:14


debbs77 Sat 04-Nov-17 13:48:38

Ltb, get down the gym, lose loads of weight and strut your funky stuff!

Justbookedasummmerholiday Sat 04-Nov-17 13:50:19

I wish you had a bigger penis - guess we both disappointed then.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair Sat 04-Nov-17 16:21:11

That's really mean - very deliberately so. I can't imagine any context that would make it ok. Is he often unkind to you? flowers

Isetan Sat 04-Nov-17 16:38:49

If this is a snapshot of your relationship then you know he's a knob. Why are you wasting energy getting upset? Channel your anger and use it as a catalyst to change the fact that you are married to a knob.

Isetan Sat 04-Nov-17 16:40:09

Of course he understands, hypocrites always do.

AJPTaylor Sat 04-Nov-17 16:43:38

you are with him why?
low self esteem?
why do you have low self esteem?
because you are with him

might not apply but if it does ring true....

swingofthings Sat 04-Nov-17 17:01:18

Are you sure that's what he meant though as sometimes, insecurities makes us hear things are that not what is said.

WanderingTrolley1 Sat 04-Nov-17 17:10:12

He sounds awful.

Happyfoodie50 Mon 06-Nov-17 02:34:27

Watching tv together can raise a hotbed of issues. My partner always comments on the strictly dancers and I get really hacked off. He also commented the other day on someone's awful nails on the tv I bite my nails and hate the habit but felt he was making a dig. I have to watch myself as get so sensitive I start questioning everything he comments on as a personal thing. Once he commented on someone's ugg boots. I said how do you know anything about ugg boots youre a man. He said girl in the office had them on. I remember thinking he doesn't even notice what I wear so made me feel crap. The point is we often react in different ways depending on how insecure we feel at the time so maybe he just said a one off comment .Does he constantly make digs at you?

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