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Is he losing interest?

(86 Posts)
wildwood04 Fri 03-Nov-17 22:55:14

Met new guy online - initially very keen. He initiated all dates and we had a great time. We do have very good chemistry, good conversation and l like him.

We've now been dating a month. We see a lot of each other - in fact it's been every day this week pretty much.

I can't quite put my finger on why I feel like this but I'm scared he is losing interest.

He stayed over last night and left this morning but I didn't hear much from him all day. Until late this evening, when I know he is on a train travelling to visit friends.

This week some of his messages have seemed a little short - but I'm not sure if it is because we've seen each other a lot.

When we are together it still seems good, but I guess I'm feeling more insecure when we're apart.

He didn't initiate sex last night - but cuddled me all night and it happened twice this morning. When he said goodbye this morning he didn't say 'see you soon' - just kissed me goodbye.

Is it likely I'm just paranoid or should I go on instinct here? Do men get comfortable?

Worriedrose Fri 03-Nov-17 22:58:09

Yes you are paranoid

TheNaze73 Fri 03-Nov-17 22:59:36

You are being paranoid

hattyhighlighter Fri 03-Nov-17 23:02:29

Can you slow it down a bit with him and pick up your own life more? Might make you feel a bit more secure. Seeing him every night after only a month in is too full on imo. Try to keep your own interests etc.

LesisMiserable Fri 03-Nov-17 23:03:34

Yes you're being paranoid. Also how can getting comfortable be construed as a worry?!

wildwood04 Fri 03-Nov-17 23:03:56

Sorry I haven't seen him every night - but he stays over so I guess that sort of counts as seeing him on that day.

Stayed over four nights, I went out with friends the other three.

wildwood04 Fri 03-Nov-17 23:08:26

I've dated so many men that I almost feel like I'm just waiting for it to go wrong - and lack of communication is normally the first sign...

IronNeonClasp Fri 03-Nov-17 23:09:56

A month - seriously? And you've seen each other loads?

Remember who you were before you met him. Don't get lost in him.

Sancerresanwine Fri 03-Nov-17 23:39:06

Try and slow it down I'd say

wildwood04 Fri 03-Nov-17 23:41:53

I don't really think it's going too fast though - I don't see him at the weekends because we've both been single a while so have stuff booked in between now and Christmas. So usually it's only been Sundays and a couple of weekdays. I don't think that is the issue...

PushingThru Fri 03-Nov-17 23:43:40

I'm a truster of instinct; anytime I've sensed a change in behaviour, I've been correct. Ask yourself if you are normally right or not. Sensitivity is a great asset.

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 03-Nov-17 23:44:16

Pull back a little and see how he reacts. Maybe he’s just getting comfortable and relying on you to communicate more often than he does.

lookatyourwatchnow Fri 03-Nov-17 23:45:40

Agree with a previous poster, your instinct is telling you that something is up. Be mindful of that

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Fri 03-Nov-17 23:59:06

I think it's absolutely normal for anyone in early stages and generally to want a bit of a breathing space when it's been intense! He's not really pulling away if he still sees you and it's good, but fgs he may just want to chill a bit and process things emotionally/mentally so may appear siightly cooler at times.
No one can be hot/passionate/feeling like sex EVERY time they see their bf/gf when it's 4 times a week.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sat 04-Nov-17 00:03:11

I have never been wrong when I've sensed a change in behaviour. Pull right back.

furlinedsheepskinjacket Sat 04-Nov-17 00:08:25

what the pps said re instinct - we know it sometimes before they do.

wildwood04 Sat 04-Nov-17 00:21:51

I'm normally not right though - unless it's massively obvious e.g. No communication at all! I tend to err on the side of paranoid...

I decided not to reply to his messages this evening and have received 6 from him - I will leave it 24 hours or so before responding.

Sancerresanwine Sat 04-Nov-17 00:33:52

6?! Reply to the poor guy!!

lovelystar Sat 04-Nov-17 00:34:50

He sounds more affectionate and interested than my long term partner, smilegrin I wouldn't worry too much it ruins it otherwise smile

userxx Sat 04-Nov-17 00:35:56

Be careful, you are going to create problems based on your insecurity - ignoring 6 messages is not the way to go about things.

ReanimatedSGB Sat 04-Nov-17 00:36:53

You've known him a month. It will either work out or it won't, but if you start dicking around and trying to 'play hard to get' he might well decide that you are too much of a drama llama and clear off. For the moment, just enjoy yourself - and if it stops being enjoyable, bin and move on.

LondonLassInTheCountry Sat 04-Nov-17 00:41:09

Why aee you ignoring him? His sent you 6 messages and your going to ignore him for 24 hours. Why would you do this?

Hooplaaaa Sat 04-Nov-17 00:47:41

Were any of the six messages asking why you weren't answering him?

furlinedsheepskinjacket Sat 04-Nov-17 00:51:32

6 messages really? i think you are wrong then smile

somethingDifferent38 Sat 04-Nov-17 00:53:02

Ignoring him is a bit silly, and you're setting things up so that he has every reason to think its OK to ignore your messages, and you'd be very unfair to mind that!
I think you should try to enjoy other things when you're not with him, but you should still treat him as you'd want him to treat you.
I also wouldn't take all the advice to trust your 'instinct' too much to heart, as you say, some of us worry and over analyse things, and will find a problem when there is none...I've known a few women who self sabotage in relationships by getting a funny feeling about every bloke and then being upset that he didn't offer reassurance, when he had no idea there was something bothering them. I find I need to use my rational brain a lot more than 'instinct', in the early stages of a relationship.

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