Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Did it get better or worse after relationship counselling?

(11 Posts)
pieceofpietuesday Fri 03-Nov-17 18:52:46

Just that really!

pieceofpietuesday Fri 03-Nov-17 20:32:08


Oldrockman Fri 03-Nov-17 21:03:34

With my ex I had after one session left something in there so went back in, counselor said your best leaving her. I was taken aback at the time but she was right, just did not see it. So it was in some way pointless if saving relationship was the idea. I have been told a couple of times that the main purpose of it is to help couples come to terms with the end of their relationship. Don't know how true this is though, but it seems quite logical, perhaps people should go before they get married?

whereiscaroline Fri 03-Nov-17 21:05:25

In my previous relationship, it didn't get better or worse but it did help me to see it for what it was (shit), and gave me the strength to leave him for good. This time round with new DP I'm hoping it will save us.

Isadora2007 Fri 03-Nov-17 21:12:36

The purpose should not be to “save” a relationship- but to improve communication and quality of life for both people and their children. Sometimes this is in repairing the relationship. Sometimes not.

Often it can get worse before it gets better. Like needing to empty a Garage out and make it messy in order to rummage around and work out what needs to be chucked and what needs kept and repacked in order to get a tidy garage.

FieldsOfWheat Fri 03-Nov-17 21:43:04

A lot better. We were on the verge of pretty much breaking up 6 months ago and now we're really happy.

pieceofpietuesday Fri 03-Nov-17 22:06:03

had first session earlier this week. hated it, felt worse about things by time we left

BlueA4Paper Fri 03-Nov-17 22:13:37

Didn't get better for me but I didn't realise at the time I was in an abusive relationship so it was never going to get better.
Prob not relevant to you though.

EasyToEatTiger Sat 04-Nov-17 08:43:22

It glossed over the abuse. I didn't realise at the time. About 15 years of some kind of marriage guidance.

pieceofpietuesday Sat 04-Nov-17 08:47:21

thanks for messages x

Lilifer Sat 04-Nov-17 10:27:48

In my experience it got much worse. In counselling the rows were just rehashed and nothing was ever resolved. The counsellor was determined to stay neutral and in fact did not see that my dh was and is emotionally and verbally abusive. I now regret the time and effort I put in to hitting my head off that brick wall and have asked my dh for a separation sad

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: