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I’m trapped with him forever aren’t I?

(7 Posts)
Escapingmyshitlife123 Thu 02-Nov-17 21:17:49

I’m finished. I’m emotionally drained and I’m done, I can’t take it anymore.

He’s not violent at all but he really knows how to get inside my head and manipulate me and put me down and upset me, if I don’t End it I will be left with no confidence and my kids deserve better.

But practically what can I do? I have no friends, no family that would take me in. We own the house together, I can’t afford it alone and he won’t leave anyway.

I work and my daughters nursery is 1.5 hrs from where I work (in the town that he works, we live in the middle of both towns that we work in but I could never afford to live here) I don’t earn enough to buy or rent alone but won’t qualify for benefits.

Logistically I can’t take her to nursery but I can’t just leave her with him and go. I don’t want her to deal with changing schools and having us split up at the same time so can’t move her. How do I even find somewhere to live? The council won’t help as I’m a ‘joint owner’ I have no deposit to private rent, my wages won’t cover rent near here.

The equity in the house is tiny so I won’t get money from that. We’re not married. I’m also 30 weeks pregnant with dc2.

What the hell do I do? I’m trapped aren’t I, I’m trying to think straight but I’m literally trapped in this house with him forever.

YellowMakesMeSmile Thu 02-Nov-17 21:28:38

If he won't leave he may agree to take on the mortgage so that you can move elsewhere.

You have to be prepared to make some changes if you want out of the relationship including a school move. Plenty of adults live alone or in house shares so you aren't trapped forever.

Is there no way of salvaging the relationship? Surely it's only gone bad recently or you wouldn't have decided on a second chid.

RandomMess Thu 02-Nov-17 21:40:33

Speak to Woman’s Aid, there are options it may be via a refuge but don’t stay with him and have him destroy you flowers

OurMiracle1106 Thu 02-Nov-17 21:42:56

He is emotionally abusing you by the sounds of it. Please speak with women’s aid and get some advice. It won’t be easy but it is doable flowers

broccolicheesebake Thu 02-Nov-17 21:46:12

Speak to a solicitor, you'll be able to get a free initial consultation. There are legal routes you can follow if life is unbearable living with someone flowers

hamburgers Thu 02-Nov-17 21:46:35

No helpful words of advice except that I’m very sorry to hear what you’re going through flowers

(Sorry, that was bloody useless! But I just wanted to let you know you have my sympathy)

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret Fri 03-Nov-17 06:03:38

Hang on, are you sure this is an accurate representation of your feelings, or are you in a late pregnancy hormonal panic?! I went slightly potty and irrational in late pregnancy.

I may be totally wrong though, has this feeling been building? Or is it a new thing?

Really examine your feelings and talk it over IRL with someone before you make any hasty decisions.

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