How do you all cope?
My current situation is I have been diagnosed with several chronic illnesses which over the last year have turned me from a fully functioning adult to using a wheelchair most days and can't seem to get my shit together to cope with everyday life.
I have 4 DCs 1 with high functioning ASD/ADHD and is showing symptoms of PDA.
He is extremely voilitile and lashes out at the others when things don't happen his way, Im not always quick enough to stop these outbursts because my mobility is bad at the moment.
We have tried everywhere to get some support but it's taking it's time.
My DH is amazing but can only do so much we own our own business and I work when I can from home so he has to pick up the slack and deal with the in shop stuff.
On top of all this none of my family seem to recognize I am ill and struggling to cope, my sister has told me Im not allowed my wheelchair at her wedding therefore I cannot go.
She also has a DS with SEN but every conversation with her goes well that's life deal with It, everyone has there own shit to deal with and you have yours.
In the public eye she makes out she is trying to be supportive but the truth is she hasn't seen my DCs more than once in 4 years so she doesn't know my situation and she doesn't care to learn, she's always got to be right and know better. She muscles in, in public to "help but her attitude and digs are underlying and no one else seems to see them, if anyone tells her she is wrong she will shoot them down and in private every conversation centres around her telling me how I should parent and how it's my own fault my life is shit even though she doesn't see or know how I parent.
My mother is beyond toxic, she literally hates me, any mention of my name she launches into a tiraid of abuse about how she should have aborted me, Im a nasty piece of shit etc etc. (Long history but the main cause of this is because I lied to her once when I was 14 about seeing my boyfriend in secret).
She is my sister's best friend and so in turn my sister's view of me has been tainted that I am useless, have no idea about anything and she is way better than me which is why the above happens I think.
I have no contact with my mother now and my sister has since deleted and blocked me from her life.
I have no other family that I can talk too, they are there in the background but no one really talks to me because they are afraid of upsetting my mother.
I just don't know how to cope.
I struggle to make friends because I can't get out much, even with friends I do have I have to do all the running around which is exhausting.
Why is life so bloody hard?
I know others have it worse by the way but right now Im really struggling to cope and feel completely alone.
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Life is so hard.
9 replies
Isthisnamefree · 02/11/2017 11:22
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