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Inside i'm jelly!

(13 Posts)
pinkgoo Wed 01-Nov-17 12:56:40

My relationship has reached the final straw after OH withdrew all "his" money from our account and left me with £100 to look after 2 children. This started a huge row which has ended with me telling him I cannot be with him anymore. I'm not doubting my decision, I know it has been coming for a long time. The problem is I am plodding along doing my day to day stuff, looking after the children, taking them to school, going to work, etc, etc but inside i'm petrified, don't know which way to turn next. Last night I was so distracted I got locked out of the house and had to pay £70 for a locksmith. Tomorrow I am moving myself and kids into my parents as he is insisting on coming home and I cannot deal with talking to him. Sorry for lengthy explanation but I don't feel like me, its scary.

pinkgoo Wed 01-Nov-17 13:57:06

OMG feeling more worthless than ever. Losing the will.

Myheartbelongsto Wed 01-Nov-17 14:01:28

Keep reminding yourself you're doing the right thing.

When I doubted myself I used to imagine my children happy when my ex was gone and it helped lots.

Now that you know he's going to play silly beggars with money get your maintenance sorted.

user1494409994 Wed 01-Nov-17 14:01:45

You might well feel like jelly on the inside but you are showing your kids how strong a person can be when they need to be.

pinkgoo Wed 01-Nov-17 14:10:35

Thankyou. I do keep thinking I will be happy and therefore my girls will be happy. And I know that he is using the money angle to try and manipulate me. But how do you cope with this uncertainty and turmoil, it's killing me and making coping with childrens tantrums very difficult.

cakecakecheese Wed 01-Nov-17 14:16:56

I think you should see a doctor. This situation is understandably giving you a lot of anxiety and you need help with that. I would also suggest seeing a solicitor or Citizen's Advice in regards to practical things such as finances.

pinkgoo Wed 01-Nov-17 14:27:06

I have seen a solicitor but it as we are not married he only has to provide child maintenance, which i'm surprised is very little (I have checked). I have applied for tax credits but have not had an award yet.

pudding21 Wed 01-Nov-17 14:58:50

The week I left my ex, I lost my purse with 200 euros in it and all my cards including my driving licence and on the way to the bank to cancel the cards crashed my car. Its like life tries to heap as much shit on you as possible to see how you cope. You are doing well, sounds like you have done the right thing, it WILL get easier, but be prepared for a bumpy ride. One day at a time.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 01-Nov-17 15:17:09

Is the house rented?
Who's name is it in?

Well done!
You know you are doing the right thing.
And you will be distracted and scared and bloody petrified.

But.... as the saying goes:-

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

It's so so true.
You'll stumble, you'll wobble, he'll throw all sorts of shit at you, but you'll get through it.
And do you know what? You'll come out the other side as a stronger and very much changed woman.
All for the better.

Hermonie2016 Wed 01-Nov-17 15:23:09

Just accept you will be highly distracted and not coping as well.It really won't last forever.Take good care of yourself, make sure you eat well and prioritise sleep as its exhausting, which is where I think concentration and memory are impacted.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Wed 01-Nov-17 15:27:10

You know, I think we talk about 'strength' so much on the web these days that we have really lost sight of what a strong woman looks like.

It's you.

It doesn't matter that you're jelly on the inside, what matters is that you're moving forward. That's true courage. That's what strength is. You are being an absolute lion for those girls, well done.

On a practical note, start making lists on your (password protected) phone, make sure you eat, take every offer of help, try and get out for a walk during your lunch just to feel the sun on your face. You've got this.

pinkgoo Wed 01-Nov-17 18:59:39

I have talked to him on the phone this evening and he is making out it is all me. I am destroying our family, I am hurting the children. Apparently he's done nothing. I hate it

SandyY2K Wed 01-Nov-17 19:04:38

Thst financial abuse is awful. So demoralising. Your doing the right thing.

He might just realise the error of his ways when you have left ... but don't bank on it.

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