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Jealousy over friend

(4 Posts)
FedUpOfMyselfAgain Wed 01-Nov-17 10:19:13

Please give me a talking to MN. I’ve NC for this post.

I have just made up with a friend that I fell out with back in May, long story which I won’t go into.

Anyway, we have been completely NC until yesterday and I discovered she is 22 weeks pg with her 3rd DC. I am over the moon to be friends with her again as we were very close and I missed her like mad but I now find myself feeling jealous that she is pg and I’m dreading things like her baby shower and the birth etc.

So as not to drip feed I have 2 DC’s, both conceived with some help with medication due to my PCOS. My friend also struggled to conceive this 3rd baby so I completely understand what she went through etc.

I am happy for her but I don’t understand these feelings of jealousy. I don’t want another baby, I feel I am done with all that and I am happy with stopping at 2. I’m scared this ridiculous jealousy I’m feeling will ruin the friendship again and I need to stop as I don’t want to lose her again.

Don’t know what’s wrong with me.

bellsandwhistles89 Wed 01-Nov-17 10:35:05

Sometimes you can be jealous of friends but happy for them, you are not a bad person and there is nothing wrong with you. It is how you deal with these feelings, maybe have a long hard chat with yourself as to let it affect your new found friendship will only harm yourself. Its a choice at the end of the day in how you act on these feelings.

Dauphinoise Wed 01-Nov-17 10:42:05

"I am happy for her but I don’t understand these feelings of jealousy"

I prefer to call this envy, rather than jealousy. I find jealousy is spiteful and nasty. I'm envious of my SIL. She's just been promoted, had a great pay rise and bought a fabulous new house in a lovely location. I admit I wish I had this. However, I'm still genuinely happy for her, I love seeing how happy it's made her and I wouldn't wish for a second that she didn't have this good fortune and happiness. She deserves it... I just feel pangs of envy at times. I don't consider it jealousy though as I'd never let it get to a point where I became resentful and spiteful towards her because of it. She means a lot to me. And the envious feelings are starting to subside.

Your envy will subside too

FedUpOfMyselfAgain Wed 01-Nov-17 13:42:01

Thank you for your replies

@Dauphinoise that’s really made me think, you’ve described it perfectly, yes I’m envious though I’m not sure why. If I wanted another baby then I could understand it, but I don’t!

I suppose in time I just have to hope the feelings subside, I really don’t want to sabotage the friendship I have with her.

Really fed up of myself lately confused

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