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"Doesn't take life too seriously" - online dating

(41 Posts)
ThisMeans Mon 30-Oct-17 13:17:53

Anyone care to deconstruct this phrase for me?

Its quite a common self-descriptor by men on online dating - usually the more attractive ones with otherwise OK profiles. But there's something odd about it. I feel there is a little red flag waving there somewhere, but its quite an innocuous phrase ... but still ...

PsychoPumpkin Mon 30-Oct-17 13:19:26

I read that phrase as ‘i’m Going to waste your time, especially if you’re looking for anything serious’ but he probably just thinks it means he’s easy going.

Mookatron Mon 30-Oct-17 13:20:29

It could mean loads of things from 'I don't get huffy if someone puts their rubbish in my wheelie bin', through 'I like to find a laugh in everything even if it's shit', to 'I'm only after a shag'.

You would have to ask them I think. Good chat-up line? wink

Tentomidnight Mon 30-Oct-17 13:21:24

Not looking for a relationship, I'd imagine.
So he can turn round after a few dates and say 'well I told you I didn't want anything more than fun'.
Which is fine I suppose, at least they're being upfront.

brrrfreeezy Mon 30-Oct-17 13:23:06

I reckon it’s a sign they’re some sort of flake. Don’t nag me about cleaning up? Doesn’t take responsibility? Could be an unfortunate snooze of phrase but I’d run a mile from anyone advertising themselves in this way :!

SleepFreeZone Mon 30-Oct-17 13:25:23

Definitely that they don't want a proper adult relationship. They want to play the field and date lots of different women.

ravenmum Mon 30-Oct-17 13:26:35

Could mean that they like to go out every night drinking rather than saving up for a home. Could mean that they like a laugh and are not workaholics. Could mean quite a lot.

Unless this is a site where people are suddenly all coy, I wouldn't think of it as meaning "I'm not looking for a serious relationship" - in my experience, people are quite happy simply to write that rather than just suggesting it. (Personally I find that honesty very useful - in my case as I have not been looking for a new husband.)

TheHodgeoftheHedge Mon 30-Oct-17 13:36:04

I would tend to read it as they aren't looking for a proper relationship, they just want to have a shag.
Personally it smacks to me that they are immature and don't want to have any adult responsibilities.

ThisMeans Mon 30-Oct-17 13:38:36

Yes, but its the "code" thing I don't understand. If someone says they don't want a serious relationship, fair enough. But to say you don't take "life" seriously seems an odd thing to say. I don't take my rent seriously, my job seriously, my pet seriously, its all not to be taken seriously? Anyway, thanks for your suggestions, I will mull over. But I tend to agree with whoever said it translates to "I'm gonna waste your time" biscuit.

MargoLovebutter Mon 30-Oct-17 13:44:28

Probably means that they can't be arsed to go & visit their mum, pay child maintenance, remember important birthdays or anything that requires any effort on their part, because 'hey, what's all that fuss about, you take life too seriously'?

In my jaundiced opinion, its a red flag.

ravenmum Mon 30-Oct-17 13:48:53

Usually when you say "Take life as it comes" or "Take life day by day", you are talking about the little everyday ups and downs, and saying that people shouldn't let that sort of thing get to them too much; they should be easy-going and not dwell on every little upset. In phrases with "life" you can usually replace "life" with "things". I don't think it's particularly unusual to put it like that.

ComtesseDeSpair Mon 30-Oct-17 14:03:48

I think it's just one of those rather meaningless phrases people use, along with "work hard, play hard" "life is for living" and "glass half full". It might mean something or nothing. They might be a serial shagger or they might want to convey themselves as being somebody "fun" or they might just be really shit at coming up with unique and interesting material to put on their profile. I'd suspect the latter.

PinkTiger Mon 30-Oct-17 14:10:13

I would interpret that as meaning

not looking for a serious relationship

which in turn translates as

happy with no strings-attached sex

MephistophelesApprentice Mon 30-Oct-17 14:11:59

It means they don't get upset over small problems and generally try and find pleasure in life.

It's pretty explicit. I'm not sure where all these wild interpretations are being drawn from.

Guiltybystander Mon 30-Oct-17 14:13:58

I think it means they are laid back, mellow, easygoing, gregarious etc.. you name it, who have no time for drama.

LemonShark Mon 30-Oct-17 14:14:55

They're trying to come across all go with the flow and happy go lucky. But I see it as a massive red flag saying that they're immature and afraid of deep emotions/difficult conversations and any time you bring up something that's in any way emotionally challenging they'll tell you to take a chill pill.

I would never message a guy whose profile said this. Life is sometimes serious. I've learned it's not all fun and games. I don't want a little boy manchild who thinks it's possible to take life too seriously.

Intercom Mon 30-Oct-17 14:17:28

It means that if you complain about something valid they will tell you to lighten up.

LemonShark Mon 30-Oct-17 14:19:15

Incidentally I find the people who say 'I have no time for drama' are the ones surrounded by drama.

corythatwas Mon 30-Oct-17 14:20:43

either what Intercom said or "I prefer thinking in clichés"

rumred Mon 30-Oct-17 14:24:01

Women say it too. And other inane shite like young at heart, love to laugh, glass half full....
Comtesse's interpretation matches mine. Lack of imagination. And life is for living - well duh, would never have guessed. God it's tedious...

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 30-Oct-17 14:24:10

I think it normally means, 'I think people who take responsibilities seriously are lame. I'm never on time for anything'. I also think that people who talk about themselves in the third person are generally arseholes. So unless the format of the dating site demands third person grammar; avoid.

ThisMeans Mon 30-Oct-17 14:24:43

grin to Cory, Intercom and Lemonshark!

qazxc Mon 30-Oct-17 14:26:31

I am a man child that won't commit, I'm just looking for a shag.

ThisMeans Mon 30-Oct-17 14:27:01

and grin to Rumred.

Yeah, the cliche thing did it for me.

LunchBoxPolice Mon 30-Oct-17 14:27:34

I am OLD'ing and my experience so far of men who have "don't take life too seriously "go with the flow" " just see what happens" on their profile are that they are just after a shag.

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