I have read on here so many times about the ongoing difficulties mums (mainly) are having trying to parent with a difficult ex not only in terms of not getting the right financial support but more importantly the emotional impact it continues to have on Dcs and themselves
My own situation has been a nightmare - I have my current thread on here where I have posted the ups and mainly downs of fallout post divorce but I also came across this thread of mine right at the start where I was questioning the recommendation to co parent
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2225087-getting-divorced-but-parents-for-life-how-does-this-work-then
My own issues apart from the ongoing financial one in respect of child maintenance and getting the correct amount from CMS include constant ignoring of any communication I have with him in relation to the kids except where there is contact involved - except recently he is communicating with the kids directly about contact even going so far as trying to change the existing arrangement without running it past me first. I only find out because my kids keep me informed.
Some issues I have had to deal with and which I feel warrant some form of co-parenting include Ds googling trying to kill yourself at school, Dd aggressive behaviour towards me, Ds having self harming thoughts over change of school and the last issue discovering this weekend Ds is smoking weed.
All of these have been met with stony silence yet I know the x has been communicating with the kids about other more mundane things.
I have also read on here more worryingly that the courts are not overly bothered about any of this and that they perceive it to be conflict with parents trying to get one over on the other - said by a family lawyer - and that the legal profession just see it as a way of earning more money. It is cited that it is in the best interests of the child - but some of the things I have read on here would indicate otherwise judging by the emotional impact on the kids.
I know there a few who are trying to raise this further with several organisations just wondered how many altogether.feel like this.
I know my ongoing battle has had severe impact on my own MH I can't believe that my dcs will come out unscathed by any of this although I intend to do what I can to try and minimise any long term effect on them
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Relationships
Co parenting with a difficult(narc) ex - the reality
9 replies
greenberet · 30/10/2017 07:36
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