My background is: I am 39yrs, he is 45yrs married for 10 years and going out for a total of 13 years - two children 8yr and 6yrs.
This time last year he told me he didn't love me anymore, there had been a general parting of the ways since kids came on the scene (stress and it magnified how differently we approach life). I took on board the feedback he gave me - I seemed to have given up, weight gain ++, not spending time together, I nagged at him to do household chores and I spoke down to him. This happened at a time that I was low in mood and off work with depression, kids not doing well at school - I felt like a shit mum, friend, human being.
Throughout 2017 I booked a holiday abroad in April where we had a really good time together and then for 10 yr wedding anniversary another foreign holiday that we had a great time. When we returned back - he went straight back into the "challenging behaviours" that caused me to nag him about - excessive time on computer, being grumpy and morose, not doing his fair share of keeping household ticking over (we both work full time). The headlines being: we have many shared experiences and great memories over the past 13 years. We have a great time outside of real life but put us back in - he has issues with me and I have issues about him.
For the sake of the kids, I have become a doormat this year, making no complaint about him - not seeing the point in creating conflict and also desperate to make it work for the sake of the kids. Over the past 3-4 months there have been some incidents that how he has no appreciation, respect or love for me, I have been really hurt but come to the conclusion that we can't save what we have.
I spoke to him today about spending some time apart, he asked if I loved him - I said the cliche that will always love him but I don't feel in love with him. There have been all kinds of emotions out there from him - now anger and saying he wants to move out ASAP, tell people and remortgage the house etc. I'm struggling with it all feeling so final and such sadness that this is the end. My head knows this is the right thing but my heart is aching.
For better or worse, he knows me better than anyone in this world and we laugh listening to the children singing. I will feel so sad not having anyone to share that with.
Please.... some hand-holding, advice, stories of inspiration would be gladly received.
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Please support - separation talk today
5 replies
F4ttyBumBum · 29/10/2017 21:00
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