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Finding out he has another woman.

(10 Posts)
Lifesonlyjustbeginning Sat 28-Oct-17 23:04:21

Hi everyone.

I started a thread on here about 6 weeks ago when my partner of 6 years left me and my 2 children felt like my world had ended. ( Came home one day and he had gone. )Still no "valid" reason why, apart from we didn't have sex enough. He's been so unbelievably nasty. Anyway, mutual friend called me tonight to ask my why I hadn't told her about his new Mrs? I was so utterly shocked , I felt faint, I wanted to be sick and I never have felt pain like it in all my life. We have been separated 8 weeks!!! 8!! And already madly in love with someone else??? We are 23, and she is 36. His remark to our friend was at least she is financially stable and gives me a good time at night. Like seriously ???? I am only financially "unstable" because I went to uni to do my nursing degree with the promise he would support me. 6 month from qualifying and he walks out. All I've wanted was for him to come back begging and now it appears he really doesn't give a monkeys the pain he has caused. In the 8 weeks he has had his kids overnight 2x. It appears it's too much hassle. His mother sent me abuse saying it's my own fault for having kids young (I was 19 , but I have been a better mum than she ever was!) and basically saying I'm a shit mum because my 4 year old cut his own hair last week. I feel like everyone is kicking me whilst I'm down. And now just as I get back on my feet, smashing placement , raising my kids alone, I get the news he has someone new? And now I'm distraught all over again. I guess that little bit of hope has completely vanished now. Everyone says it's a blessing in disguise but all I want is my family back as one. sad sad i really need to hear some success story's of coming out on top. I'm really struggling tonight xxxx

Superspooky Sat 28-Oct-17 23:30:05

flowers so sorry you're going through this.

Please try and tune out those who don't have your best interests at heart (clueless exMil and friend who sounds pretty shit stirry to me, sharing all those details).

You're doing an amazing job with the kids and the final push of your degree. Don't waste your energy on trying to figure out a meaningful reason for the split. You may never find one but at least you now know how things stand and there won't be any potential confusion of the DC hearing about the new woman before you did.

Just be kind to yourself and proud of all your hard work.

Oh and don't listen to the criticism from exMil about your ds cutting his hair. I used to do that all the time at his age despite having a brilliant mum!!

RafikiIsTheBest Sat 28-Oct-17 23:37:03

It wasn't just you who had a kid at 19, her bloody son did too. Stupid cow. I hate how she feels able to blame you when you are both parents to your 2 wonderful DC but you're the one who's actually parenting whilst he's off doing god knows what. Seriously the old bat needs to wake up!

You are going to be great, your kids are going to be great. And do you know how I know this, simply because if you've managed this far with him holding you back think how far you can get without him dragging you down! Make sure you get all the financial support you can through the right channels and continue building your career and taking care of your kids.

Superspooky Sun 29-Oct-17 09:31:56

That's a point from Rafikils, make sure you speak to student support and find out about as much practical and financial help as possible from your uni.

If you haven't already, perhaps let your tutor know about your change in circs just in case something comes up such as a problem with one of the DC on an exam day given that your finals will be here in the blink of an eye. You're going to do brilliantly though!

category12 Sun 29-Oct-17 09:36:59

Well at least you now know what happened to your relationship - he was cheating on you.

flowers

category12 Sun 29-Oct-17 09:37:09

Well at least you now know what happened to your relationship - he was cheating on you.

flowers

underthebluemoon Sun 29-Oct-17 09:42:22

Firstly block your MIL. You don't need that in your life.

Your exp sounds very immature. It is common for the person who has left to quickly take up with someone new. It is not a reflection on you. I predict he will come crawling back at some point and you should tell him to sling his hook. I know you want your family back but he is not a nice person to have done this and broken your trust.

Grieve for your relationship and build yourself up. You will come out on top flowers

hellsbellsmelons Sun 29-Oct-17 09:43:38

The OW always comes out the woodwork in the end.
He was cheating on you.
Time to get a the help and benefits etc that you can.
Get real life support around you.
I'm sorry you are going through this.

BiscuitsBathroom Sun 29-Oct-17 10:18:42

Hi OP, I was on your other thread. Yes, he has treated you appallingly, but you mentioned his new woman on there a few times. Why has this come as a shock to you now?

Did you get CM sorted with him?

Itsonkyme Sun 29-Oct-17 10:31:34

Awwwww! Sweetheart! I wish I could give you a hug. It's a big shock what your friend told you last night. I understand that you must be devastated.
But! Youknow exactly where you stand now, this little shit has been messing about behind your back and I don't think just after the split either.
He's a loser babe! You don't need him, you've got your family and it's you and those kids. Unconditional love! Not some wanker who drops you for more sex off an old slag with money.
Take a deep breath and get on with your life. You are doing sooooo well, studying and placement and soon a job at the end of it.
Don't let this crap news mess things up for you, please.

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