Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Should I message this man for a date?

(35 Posts)
marchingtime Sat 28-Oct-17 22:59:07

He asked me out a year ago after me coming into his work sometimes. At the time I had just broken up with my ex so I said yes, we texted a bit and he seemed nice (and normal) but then I ended up back together with said ex so messaged to say I couldn't meet him because of that. He left it with all the best type thing and you know where I am.

Fast forward to now and I've been single a few months, no bad break up just ended as friends and he's popped into my head. I don't have his number anymore but I do know he's on facebook. No idea if he's still single but part of me is thinking nothing ventured nothing gained. Worried I might appear fickle though. Soo should I or just leave it?

catchingzzzeds Sat 28-Oct-17 23:00:14

Go for it, you have nothing to lose!

marchingtime Sat 28-Oct-17 23:07:56

See I'm thinking that but also very conscious that I might appear as if I chop and change my mind a lot. Or looking like a plank if he's taken now. Unfortunately his facebook is pretty locked down so can't guess grin

madmother1 Sat 28-Oct-17 23:10:20

Why not send him a friend request to see if he accepts, then have a good old snoop to see if he looks taken.

MandalaYogaTapestry Sat 28-Oct-17 23:11:14

Of course go for it. Without going into any detail about the past circumstances, I would just messaged something light like 'how have you been? So, how about that date?'

keepingbees Sat 28-Oct-17 23:12:35

Why don’t you just add him as a friend, if he accepts you’ll hopefully be able to see his situation. Then you can send him a casual ‘hi how are you’ message and take it from there (if he’s single obviously) I think that would be better than going straight in asking for a date

marchingtime Sat 28-Oct-17 23:18:30

See I haven't seen him for a year, would it not seem weird getting a out of the blue friend request? Weirdly even though we live in a smallish town we appear to have no mutual friends.

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Sun 29-Oct-17 00:10:47

not weird - he knows you got back with and ex so his thinking may have been ;well they broke up once...' and saying 'you know where I am', he'll just understand that it took a while but you are single again.

marchingtime Sun 29-Oct-17 00:35:22

He did say he'd liked me for years but timing never worked out with either of us in relationships. God, I'm so gonna be outed as fb stalking as it was only through research at the time a year ago I found out his surname. Fuck it, I can blame you lot if I look like a weirdo grin

ApproachingATunnel Sun 29-Oct-17 00:46:51

Find him on facebook and ask if he’d like to meet up for a drink sometime. Do it!

ChipIn Sun 29-Oct-17 00:49:58

Do it! Friend request is harmless enough. I have friend suggestions who I have nobody in common with and I’ve no idea how Facebook knows I know them... could be that simple rather than good old fashioned stalking, if he asks! Good luck.

Worriedobsessive Sun 29-Oct-17 00:50:56

Have you done it?

marchingtime Sun 29-Oct-17 00:55:51

I just sent him this;

Soo I have no idea if you're single or not now.. if yes do you still fancy that date? Check me out either being an independant woman who knows her own mind or being a complete plank who just made an arse of herself smile

I like to leap in feet first, no pussy footing around with me grin Erk

oldlaundbooth Sun 29-Oct-17 00:57:07

Good luck, I'm sure he'll be up for it.

Simmy10 Sun 29-Oct-17 01:00:06

Good on you for messaging him! At least this way you won't always think what if?

GlitteryFluff Sun 29-Oct-17 01:02:23

Ooh this could be exciting for you. Well done for being brave messaging him.

marchingtime Sun 29-Oct-17 01:09:13

He's messaged back. Didn't expect that this time of night. Said big surprise but single and date yes. Yay smile

naebotherpal Sun 29-Oct-17 01:14:48

Nice one, OP. Wish I was a bit more like you!

Worriedobsessive Sun 29-Oct-17 01:20:56

Well done !

marchingtime Sun 29-Oct-17 01:29:36

Go for it nae, I'm starting to develop the fuck it approach to life from litle miss introvert wouldn't say boo. Scary

Itsonkyme Sun 29-Oct-17 01:40:36

Men find confident, assertive women sexy!
Have a great first date!!!!

oldlaundbooth Sun 29-Oct-17 01:14:23


ChipIn Sun 29-Oct-17 04:12:22

Yay, have an awesome date!

MyOtherProfile Sun 29-Oct-17 04:18:36

Wow was about to reply to your opener and say go for it but you did already with bells on! When's the date??

Eyebooyanbooyaboo Sun 29-Oct-17 04:38:08

Good on you, op!

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: