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Just want out of this

(7 Posts)
egypt2206 Sat 28-Oct-17 21:44:23

Me and h have been married 12 years and have 2 kids. We live abroad with my job paying most of the bills, kids school fees, provides the visa etc.

I'm so desperately unhappy and have beem for years. Nothing has changed and its getting better not worse. I tried to leave last year but my eldest cried the whole weekend we were away.

We havent had sex or any form of intimacy for years. He works very long hours and we don't see much of him. He gets a very low wage, however. I also work long hours but am in a very well paid job. I feel like a single mother as it is me who picks kids up from school and has them on my own for the rest of the night. Husband really comes home before the kids bedtimes. He usually takes one day at the weekend off.

He never does anything with the kids. When he is with them they watch tv or play on the ipad. He never takes them out alone. He also very rarely does anything with them with me e.g. he doesn't go to any parents evenings, sports practices, comes on family days out etc.

I go to a beauty salon twice a month and he has the kids then. He complains about this. My mum is staying with me at the moment. I took her to tge beauty salon for a treat. We were gone about 8 hours then I came home and took the kids to their sports practise. Husband has been in a foul mood since saying I should feel guilty about being out all day. That I go out everyweek or stay in bed all weekend. I don't. I go twice a month! Last weekend I spent most of Saturday in bed as I'm sick.

I really want to leave him but I know he will cause a huge drama. I don't think he could financially manage on his wages either. Im contracted to stay with my job another year at least so I couldn't move back to the uk now.

Its all such a mess but I can't imagine going on like this.

egypt2206 Sat 28-Oct-17 21:45:12

Its getting worse not better!

HelenUrth Sat 28-Oct-17 21:52:22

Sounds like you're living with a lot of drama anyway. In the long term might it be better to get a load of drama over in the one go, and then start to live your life without all this crap?

egypt2206 Sat 04-Nov-17 12:40:15


SandyY2K Sat 04-Nov-17 12:44:14

Is this the kind of marriage he wants?

merrykate Sat 04-Nov-17 12:45:08

That sounds like a terrible way to live your life. We only get one life. It's up to you to choose the direction yours goes in. Your children will base their future relationships on the example their parents have set. Maybe that thought will give you the strength to break up with him. He sounds foul to live with. Start making a plan and lean on family and friends for support. You're not financially responsible for him.

SandyY2K Sat 04-Nov-17 12:46:11

Could you talk or write him a letter explaining how you feel?

I'd probably end it when you return to the UK.

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