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How/can I tell new bloke that I dont like the way he kisses

(13 Posts)
ceecee32 Sat 28-Oct-17 11:17:23

Hi, been seeing someone for a few weeks after knowing him as a friend for about a year, he seems a good, kind caring man and so far we have not shied away from talking about anything.
I enjoy his company, feel very comfortable with him but hate the way that he kisses - he is very much into french kissing (tongues !! ) To me it belongs with passionate love making and not as a normal kiss. It feels very intrusive and I am pulling away from him

Is there anyway to put this over to him nicely, or should I just say it ?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 28-Oct-17 11:19:23

I think you just need to tell him; if he isn’t noticing you pulling away. It’ll become harder the longer you leave it; because he’ll have spent weeks and weeks kissing you like that.

Just tell him you prefer to leave tongues to the bedroom; if that’s the case. He shouldn’t take it badly.

FuckFaulkerILikeTheGruffalo Sat 28-Oct-17 11:25:15

I had a similar thing with my partner in the beginning - I just told him fairly bluntly but with a kind tone. He was totally fine with it. I think you'd have to have some ego on you to be upset by a woman telling you what she does/doesn't want to happen in any sort of intimate relations.

spidergurl Sat 28-Oct-17 11:28:14

Interesting because I would react differently, cant stand those dry peck kisses, whats the point? Talk about it

ceecee32 Sat 28-Oct-17 11:35:22

Yes, he has noticed me pulling away and that is why I feel that I need to say something.
I will bite the bullet and rather than tell him that I dont like what he does that I need to say what I prefer
Thanks for your help ladies.

@spider - there is a mile of difference between dry pecks and a tongue being shoved into your mouth when its not wanted - there is a middle ground and I just need to find it

TammyswansonTwo Sat 28-Oct-17 12:29:23

Honestly I've never heard of someone not wanting to kiss with tongues outside the bedroom - not that what you want is wrong, it's just that this would never have occurred to me and it probably hasn't occurred to him either. You just need to tell him - I'm not really a fan of kissing with tongues and would rather you didn't. It's really that simple and a good test of whether you can communicate about sensitive things.

TheStoic Sat 28-Oct-17 12:30:27

Don’t tell, teach.

Boredboredboredboredbored Sat 28-Oct-17 13:46:36

Oh god I have the opposite problem. Went on date 2 last night with a new man. He really wasn’t using his tongue enough, I did tell him but then it became too much. Slow and steady I’ll try and teach him the way I like it!

DeadDoorpost Sat 28-Oct-17 14:24:02

I never said anything to DH about his kissing, just taught him. Without him realising what was going on. I told him maybe a year later what I'd done and he wasn't even mad, he's just happy I like kissing him.

BMW6 Sat 28-Oct-17 14:52:32

I found pulling away and going "ewwwww" when tongue is pushed into my mouth very effective!

NotTheFordType Sat 28-Oct-17 15:18:47

How is he in bed?

SonicBoomBoom Sat 28-Oct-17 15:28:37

Do you like him doing it when you're having sex?

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Sat 28-Oct-17 17:01:58

You could say something like "my lips are far more sensitive than the inside of my mouth so I much prefer kissing only with lips". That you "prefer to leave all the tongue action for when you're really turned on already, just before sex or during it". I've had to tell a few men to rein in the tongues as they were using them to turn me on when actually I only like it when I am turned on if that makes sense. Otherwise it turns me off a bit. Plus too many of them think kissing is all about tongues, there's no gentle warm up, it's straight in the mouth and flapping it around like a wet towel in a washing machine!

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