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MIL wants me to end Restraining Order early

(11 Posts)
carriemathisonshandbag Fri 27-Oct-17 17:54:12

I have a restraining order against STBXH, which has 5 months left to run. MIL is trying to emotionally blackmail me into ending it early, on the basis she thinks it is damaging DD1 for her parents not to be talking to each other.

I have no intention of ending it early (and from what I understand it is not a simple process in any case). I am just so fed up of her going on about it.

I do realise that her doing this is in itself a breach of the order, but I do want to keep the lines of communication open with her for the sake of the DC.

Not sure what I hope to achieve by posting. Just wanted to vent I guess, but any ideas about how to get her to stop (without being too threatening or heavy handed) would be appreciated.

SandyY2K Fri 27-Oct-17 18:01:33

Do not end the RO early. It's in place for good reason and showing your DD that a man can treat a woman anyhow without consequences is far worse.

Don't listen to her sbd reiterate why the RO came about
.. her son's violent/aggressive/abusive behaviour.

SomeBananasAreStillGreen Fri 27-Oct-17 18:01:57

It's there for a reason, courts don't just hand these out with no evidence at all.

Not to put the wind up you or anything, but when i (foolishly, in the early days) decided that I didn't want to go ahead with the non-molestation order I had asked for, I was summoned back to court to explain myself to the judge and a cafcass worker. They took the view that I was not able to safeguard my children.

Fortunately, by the time I arrived in court, I had seen the error of my ways. I had wanted to be able to supervise the context the kids had with exdh because there was nobody else to do it. I realised very quickly that wasn't going to work, and asked for the non molestation order to stay in place. ... it's just as well I did the right thing in time, because I think they were about to start care proceedings for my kids if I hadn't changed my mind!

Topseyt Fri 27-Oct-17 18:02:02

Tell her that you do not intend to end the restraining order early and warn her that repeated attempts by her to contact you also constitute a breach of it. Say you will report her if she continues.

SandyY2K Fri 27-Oct-17 18:02:35

Don't listen to her and reiterate why the RO came about.

Butterymuffin Fri 27-Oct-17 18:07:41

'Please don't ask me this again. I don't want to stop contact with you, but I will if you keep bringing this up'.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 27-Oct-17 18:11:39

Don't be manipulated by this woman. No wonder her son is abusive. Tell her to fuck off and if she contacts you again you will be reporting it. Your safety and your children's safety is too priority.

carriemathisonshandbag Fri 27-Oct-17 18:12:58

Thanks all. She has the hind of a rhino and once she is set on a course of action there is no getting her to deviate from it. Best thing is just to ignore her until she gets the message.

Good point about safeguarding the DC bananas

Garlicansapphire Fri 27-Oct-17 18:15:11

I would say 'if you truly cared about your granddaughter you would not want to end the order early. It was instituted for a reason - to protect her safety from your son.'

MrsBertBibby Fri 27-Oct-17 18:18:35

Tell her if she carries on she can have a RO to match her son's.

Theresnonamesleft Fri 27-Oct-17 18:23:20

Tell her
I am telling you once, and once only. I will NOT ever end the RO. If YOUR son hadn't done the things to get the RO, then HIS relationship would not be affected. You either stop now trying to make this out as my fault or walk away for good.

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