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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DH wants Holiday extension i dont help AIBU???

135 replies

Curtains77 · 27/10/2017 07:51

We are waiting to go to breakfast on out last morning in Spain. Weather and hotel lush . Husband woke up this morning saying he wants to pay around 600 quid and stay till tomorrow night. To be clear - That means cancelling our flights at 1pm , extending our hotel booking and flying home to a different airport 2hours away from where our car is . So aibu to not want to ?

OP posts:

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NapQueen · 27/10/2017 07:52

Yanbu at all. Im always ready to go home. And 600 is really poor value.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 27/10/2017 07:53

Why does he want to do that? Like, does he want to do something specific? Seems odd to extend it for such a short length of time. Way too much faff versus benefit.

Quartz2208 · 27/10/2017 07:53

No take the money and use towards another holiday where it will go further

Abetes · 27/10/2017 07:56

Yes, go home and use the money for something else.

Curtains77 · 27/10/2017 07:57

It's been a make or break holiday for us And needless to say it has not gone well. He thinks it will help. He is now blaming me for not being enthusiastic about the idea ...now we are going 5o breakfast . Horrible . Thanks all least I know it's not me . Needed that xc

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 27/10/2017 08:04

Does he always do ridiculous and unreasonable things or sulk when people don't go along with silly ideas he has? No, it's not just you.

Trills · 27/10/2017 08:05

£600 for one extra day?

Nah, you could do much better with that money.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 27/10/2017 08:07

Do you think he really wanted to stay, or did he want to put you in a position where he could blame you for the holiday being bad?

Curtains77 · 27/10/2017 08:11

Yes he does have a habit of shifting responsibility to me. The children do not want to so of course I feel doubly bad !!!

OP posts:

Changerofname987654321 · 27/10/2017 08:14

Suggest a family vote on if you should extent the holiday.

Leilaniii · 27/10/2017 08:15

I'm gonna go against the grain here, and say you should stay. The kids want to, it seems there is some unfinished business from your holiday in terms of your relationship... what harm can it do?

Incidentally, do you want to work things out with your DH? Sorry to ask.

Hassled · 27/10/2017 08:18

If you stay, the pressure for this last extra day to be wonderful and amazing will be so intense that you can guarantee it will backfire. It's all a bit "you WILL have a good time, dammit". And £600 is a lot to pay to just stall the inevitable. But I suppose if you smile and nod and go along with it you'll know that you tried your hardest if things don't work out.

FrancisCrawford · 27/10/2017 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlternativeTentacle · 27/10/2017 08:21

Could he stay and you go home?

UrsulaPandress · 27/10/2017 08:21

Hell no.

Hillfarmer · 27/10/2017 08:22

He has ambushed you. He wants to destabilise, confuse and then blame you for a mess of his own making.

He is moving the goalposts on your holiday which is totally unreasonable. Plus he is presenting it at ridiculously short notice - doubly unreasonable. And he has dragged the kids in as emotional blackmail = outrageously bloody unreasonable.

And now he is gaslighting/bulllying you by trying to make you look unreasonable.

If this is a ‘make or break’ holiday, at least you know, conclusively, where it takes you.

If this is a micro-portrait of your marriage I think you would be entirely reasonable to divorce his sorry backside. You do not deserve to be treated like this.

Greycat11 · 27/10/2017 08:22

I'd stay, and see what happens but then I hate coming back from holiday and always wish on the last day could stay longer.

Weather isn't great here and one extra day in the sun could be good for you all.

Didiusfalco · 27/10/2017 08:24

Gosh no, if you have unfinished business then £600 would get you a lovely weekend away to finish it.

tinypop4 · 27/10/2017 08:25

yanbu 600 pounds for one extra night is immensely poor value. Go home, spend the money on a weekend away (without your DC if possible for you) to try and work things out if that's still an option.

letsdolunch321 · 27/10/2017 08:28

Maybe he thinks another day of staying will mend all cracks in your relationship !!!

It is an absolute joke to think of spending £600.00 - madness.

Fingers crossed the hotel say they are full if he enquires

RefuseTheLies · 27/10/2017 08:29

I'm fairly irresponsible with money ok, very irresponsible but even I wouldn't pay £600 for one extra day

Curtains77 · 27/10/2017 08:30

He definately wants to stay. We just came out of breakfast and he is saying to the children 'No kids club today I am afraid. I Am so cross ...he keeps saying to me - imagine staying another day - another day by the pool etc etc . We leave in an hour ...u feel so cross - this holiday has been difficult at times as it is and I am so ready to go home. Perhaps he will stay on on his own for a few days....

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Isetan · 27/10/2017 08:30

600 for one day, nah. If this is how he’s going to behave then it suggests that you’re being set up. Do you really want to spend 600 quid trying to placate him when it will do nothing of the sort and he’ll just find another excuse to blame you anyway? 600 would be better spent on counselling.

disahsterdahling · 27/10/2017 08:30

£600 is too much for one day

and if you're 2 hours from the airport where your car is, how do you get home and how do you get your car?

Silly idea in my view.

Maryann1975 · 27/10/2017 08:32

£600 is a lot of money to pay for just one extra night. As a comparison, We paid £500 for two extra nights when we booked our holiday for next year. There will be extra costs involved for you because of the car situation and needing to get to the original airport. I’d be really cross with dh for suggesting this to the dc without thinking of the logistics.

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