I'm a fairly young mum (early-mid 20s) my parents also had me quite early and as a result my DM and DF are also quite young DGPs (mid 40s). Growing up I was quite close to them and there was always a lot of inclination that I was going to be close to them (especially DM) when I had my own children etc and I know they always wanted to be hands on DGPs.
Over time due to certain events our relationship has become quite strained and we are trying to work on this.
I see them once a week, sometimes once every 2 as they both work and I sometimes have other commitments but I usually work it around the days they have off. They get a good 5hours or more with DS on those days.
DS does not sleep over and does not spend time alone with them I.e. They don't babysit. They keep subtly bringing it up and hinting at wanting to do that with him but due to past events this will not happen and they pretty much know this.
However, I find it really hard to be blunt with them when addressing the subject as it would strain our relationship even more and they will jump to conclusions - I need help with this.
Last week I saw them mid week and also went out for a meal with them and DS on Sunday as my DH was away (I wouldn't usually do Sunday's if DH is home as its out family day). My DM just got a pay rise and wanted to treat us all and asked to pay and it was a nice enough afternoon apart from my DF being critical of most things which I found odd.
I got home and texted DM to thank her for the meal, she sent a text back asking if DS slept in the car on the way back (he was upset and cranky and didn't want to get in the car seat when we were leaving), I said he was fine as soon as we set off. She then text saying "you should come more often with DS".
I didn't reply.
I feel like there isn't a reply I can send that will not aggravate the situation.
I also feel a bit deflated as I thought things were going ok but they keep hinting at wanting more.
I have since sent them pics of DS at the zoo as we went recently, they have seen them but not replied.
They feel they do not see DS enough and don't get enough time alone with him.
Last time my DF mentioned a good shopping centre where you could buy lots of lovely stuff for DS at good prices but it's far away so they would need to "go overnight and it's hard to buy clothes for DS without him trying them on" - I.e. a hint at wanting to potentially take DS away for a weekend.
It's just awkward...
If you're a DGP - how often do you see your DGCs? And do you think I'm being unreasonable with sticking to what me and DH want to do?
Is it unfair that they only see DS once a week?
How do I manage this?
Sorry this post is a lot longer than intended and I've already cut lots out...
Any replies are appreciated.
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Relationships
Looking for advice from DGPs ...
FGSholdthedoor · 26/10/2017 16:27
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