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Husband left

(4 Posts)
Debbieb70 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:39:18

It's been 5 weeks now since my husband left me and his 9 year old son for another woman. This woman is an ex he knew 16 years ago and he went to find her online a he needed someone to talk to. He's now with her in Scotland where we were all meant to be moving so our son could be bear his only grandparents and some family. We have no family here. I'm still hurting so much and sometimes feel I'm only here still for my son. My son also had autism. He didn't want to talk to his dad on the phone last night. His dad said why so I said probably something to do with missing his dad. To which he said well he'd want to talk to me then. A voice on the end of a phone isn't enough for him. Well being as I can't live with you that's all it can be for now he said. He just can't get it into his head what he's done and is doing to him. He's taken everything away from him he knew and all he should of had. All he seems to care about is this woman and new life he has. Getting his life back ad he said. He refuses to see that he's put another woman before his son. He was our sons carer for five years. He said he didn't love me anymore. Said we'd not spent enough time for each other and I'd had to sleep in my son's room as like many children with autism he was scared to sleep alone and would ask in the night if I was there. This was always ok and we fitted intimacy in when we could. He chose not to talk to me about how he was starting to feel or we could have tried to sort it. Aren't marriages supposed to be more. I always thought we were happy and we did so much together as a family. I feel so desolate and empty. How can a man walk away from his child. He's 50 next year what is going on in his head

2anddone Thu 26-Oct-17 15:55:24

I didn’t want to read and run ((big unmumsnetty hugs)).
I am so sorry you are having to go through this especially as you have no family close by.
Your H needs to accept that your son will not want to talk to him there will be all sorts of confusion and emotion in his little head right now and he may choose to ignor his dad as a form of punishment!
My xh left 5 years ago for very similar reasons (must be more to life, no life of own etc) and at first I was devastated, now however I am surprised how much easier life has become and how much happier the children are as there is no underlying resentment anymore.
Stay strong, do you have any rl support?

Debbieb70 Sat 28-Oct-17 12:25:07

It's so hard right now 2anddone. I feel so desolate still and memories pop up and that's it I'm a wreck again. Then thinking of him with her and being so happy while he's done what he's done to our son. I sometimes wonder if he misses him at all

Gemini69 Sat 28-Oct-17 13:09:55

Sorry OP.. He's not coming back... you need to fill the void in your DS life now.. this will be hard but you can't ever depend on his Father being anything other than a voice on the other end of the phone now...

You can do this Mum... be strong flowers

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