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Should I go on this date?

(46 Posts)
Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 13:50:03

First foray back into online dating. Nice chat with guy, arranged a date for Thurs and spoke on the phone on Tuesday. I didn't message him on Wednesday (busy and didn't think to!). Messaged today to check we were still on for tonight. He messaged back 'sure thing, thought you'd gone off the idea. I don't hear much from you tbh. '
It just feels a bit needy so early on. Hes agreed to meet, but the tone has put me off. I don't want to feel like I have to constantly message someone I hardly know.

MagicFajita Thu 26-Oct-17 13:52:15

Unless you have other reasons to think so I don't think he sounds needy , he was just making a comment.

It does sound like you may not want to go though.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 13:53:22

I'm not sure why he'd assume the date was off because I hadnt messaged him in a day.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 13:57:03

I am nervous to be honest, so I could be looking for reasons not to go.

MagicFajita Thu 26-Oct-17 13:58:26

Online dating can mess with your head though , people can be so flaky. Maybe he's been a victim of that in the past.

I wouldn't dismiss him based on this alone. Unless you're not interested in him of course.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 26-Oct-17 14:24:41

I had to tell the guy I'm seeing about my lack of responses to texts etc...
He got to grips with it very quickly and he's great now.
He was a bit miffed at first as I think so many people are constantly on their phones, they think everyone is and you must be chatting to others whilst not responding to them.
Just let him know when you meet that you are not one to constantly text back and forth and he'll need to get used to it.
You may as well go though.
Better than sitting at home twiddling your thumbs wondering what he is like in person when you could just go and find out.

Shoxfordian Thu 26-Oct-17 14:29:49


I wouldn't go. I would have blocked and deleted.

usersos Thu 26-Oct-17 14:30:56

Go! You never know it might be fun. Totally can’t tell by text

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 14:31:55

The thing is, I am a texter and I haven't ignored any of his texts. Just sometimes I'm busy!

Santawontbelong Thu 26-Oct-17 14:32:34

Maybe he was hoping for a bit text chat before the date? That's not needy!!
Go and give things a chance!! Does anyone really know how dating works til they give it a try??

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 14:33:28

We had a bit of text chat and a 30 minute phone call on the Tuesday. I thought that was enough. And if he wanted text chat, he could have messaged

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 14:43:02

Couple of things I amber flagged on the phone as well. He said he'd been catfished by a woman who said her body size was average but she was more like Lisa Riley and he was embarrassed that people thought they were together. I'm not overweight, but I don't like men putting other women down. Fair enough not being attracted, but no need to mock the woman.

Ellendegeneres Thu 26-Oct-17 14:43:44

Double standards! So he didn't message you but is put out that you didn't message him?
Uh what? He wants you to be more interested in him than him you, ego boost style. I'd be fast losing interest

Ellendegeneres Thu 26-Oct-17 14:44:46

Cross post. Ugh. Nah that's sealed it. What a prick

Ttbb Thu 26-Oct-17 14:45:00

Worst case scenario you can just stop seeing him do what's the problem?

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 14:56:29

I know it's not a contract, but I don't have much free time and I'd rather not waste it. Plus it is easier to walk away when you haven't met someone and you can make clearer judgements when you haven't met someone and felt attracted to them.

cherrycola2004 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:01:37

Think you’ve made your mind up you don’t want to go so I’d let him know ASAP smile

usersos Thu 26-Oct-17 15:04:00

You’ve talked yourself out of it already haven’t you?

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 15:05:00

No I haven't. Just wondered what people's thoughts were.

cherrycola2004 Thu 26-Oct-17 15:08:40

I can understand from your point of view you spoke for 30mins Tuesday so what is left to text? Can speak tonight!

From him maybe he is just a bit worried about it all and a text may have made him feel better, I don’t know.

If you do still want to go then go, no harm in it and see what happens.

NewLove Thu 26-Oct-17 15:12:35

Go with your gut - I had one date with a guy and he sent flowers to work. Everyone thought it was cute, I thought it was creepy. He turned out to be a total crazy - one of the things that red flagged me too was him complaining about me not replying quickly enough...

AngelsSins Thu 26-Oct-17 15:47:19

I'm with you OP, those 2 comments would put me off a bit. If you really click with him or enjoy his humour or something then maybe it'd still be worth giving him a chance, but if not, I don't think I'd waste my time.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 15:53:35

He asked me to send him the address of the venue and I suggested a time and he's not replied to confirm. Feel like I've been left hanging with two hours to go till the date. I don't want to just turn up in case he isn't there.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 15:59:52

Just noticed he was looking on the dating site but hadn't confirmed our date. So I messaged back 'think I'll leave it tonight. Sorry for short notice. Was lovely chatting to you!'

Farontothemaddingcrowd Thu 26-Oct-17 16:09:19

He messaged back to say he wasn't feeling it either, so looks like I made a good call. I hate people messing about online. Puts me off the whole thing.

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