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Please reassure me! I will have sex again, won't I? With someone nice??

(15 Posts)
MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 00:16:28

Fecking manipulative, emotionally-laden, annoying, fling has come to an end. He only wants to be friends 'for now' (=carte blanche for shagging around, surely!). I reminded him his friendship is shit.

I am mid 40s, 2 DCs, divorce coming through, need to feel good. Above man just told me I am beautiful and amazing (clearly not either enough!).

I'm sure you've all been through this. Post-divorce shag with your hormones going haywire. What happens next? I was told I should get my knickers 'around the block' which I really would do well to do right now....just not with him! HOW DO I DO THIS?!!!!


MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 00:27:26

Please, someone, tell me your stories of hot sex after hottish sex after ex. I need to make it happen! Yikes. Where will I find such a man?!

DownstairsMixUp Thu 26-Oct-17 00:33:47

They don’t exist, soz.

MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 00:42:44

Nawwww!!!!! What do you think I should do? Vibrator? Lesbian lover???!!

NellyTimes Thu 26-Oct-17 00:43:27

Of course they exist, I found a few 😊

MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 00:44:17

PLEASE, Nelly, tell me more! How? When? Where????!! grin

PhoenixMama Thu 26-Oct-17 00:46:03

I’m not sure exactly what you want to hear... that there are nice men out there or shagable men out there. The good news is there’s both. The bad news is they are rarely the same person.

Cakedoesntjudge Thu 26-Oct-17 00:46:05

I resigned myself to never having sexual again an embarrassingly long time ago. Then met current boyfriend and have had the best sex I’ve ever had for the last half a year or so!

Not sure I can help with where to find it though. He was just a mate from Work who is now much more than that!! Not sure I’d advise shagging around work though, it’s going to be awkward if it all goes tits up!

beepboopbeep Thu 26-Oct-17 00:47:04

Hi op

I too suffered the post separation/divorce horn

I decided to seek out casual sex on rather dodgy websites as well as Tinder etc. Had a fair few one night stands. It was ok and scratched an itch! Sex is available if you are! Altho said website was a bit dodge, I had my pick and am smart enough to sniff out the complete fucktards so met some nice guys. I used Fabswingers

I found I couldn't do the fuck buddy thing. Too complicated. One offs much easier

Got a bit sick of all that so started 'proper' dating. Met a guy a fair few years younger and OMFG the sex was amazing. Sadly he dumped me.

Have since met a lovely guy a bit older. Sex very good but less frequent as we are old and tiredgrin

There are men out there who will gladly fuck you I promise!

DownstairsMixUp Thu 26-Oct-17 00:47:06

Like a needle in a haystack

MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 00:57:05

I love the honesty here. THANK YOU!!!

PhoenixMama I am sure what you say is the truth. Rarely the same person. Sigh!

Cakedoesntjudge How did you meet current boyfriend? This gives me hope! Yeah. Work is a stupid place. It found me, rather than I was looking...

beepboopbeep The post separation/divorce horn is horrid! Tricks you into thinking it is more than it is! Maybe I need to turn to websites after all. Fuckbuddies are horrid! I had done it before and always thought I would not again, but current man pretended he was a relationship.

Thank you for honest history. This is very helpful!!!

DownstairsMixUp Like a needle in a haystack I'll bet!!!

Cakedoesntjudge Thu 26-Oct-17 01:45:01

I didn’t realise your situation was a work one - I meant that was where I’d met my boyfriend 😂 sorry!

If it helps at all, I had known him for 3 years prior. He was with someone we met so I never thought of him as someone with boyfriend potential and he is not at all my usual type. He is younger (I have no issue with other people going for younger partners, I had just never been attracted to someone younger), I normally go for dark hair - he’s blonde, I normally go for quite stocky rugby types - he’s slim. On paper he is the opposite to my type and I’d never thought of him in a sexual way.

And then one night we were drunk. And we kissed (obviously this was some time post the breakup with his ex) and it all suddenly happened all at once. There’s been a few bumps in the road but I definitely wouldn’t complain about the sex part!! Hold out hope - it’s worth it!

MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 07:24:50

Ha! Sounds like this fling. Luckily I could step down from that workplace. Maybe someone gorgeous will turn up at my other workplaces! Have put out all feelers. Fingers crossed!

PhoenixMama Thu 26-Oct-17 12:09:04

We have a great very supportive thread about old here if you fancy joining us: The Dating Thread Number 123: We're so over over-investing

MiracleCure Thu 26-Oct-17 17:12:27

Thanks so much, PhoenixMama! I am not going to do OLD. I can't copew ith it. Will do Meet Up but I find the thought of sifting through profiles exhausting (ASD)...

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