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Advice please - difficult ex

(5 Posts)
rebelrebel3 Wed 25-Oct-17 22:36:29

My DP and i got together after a brief and intense affair - i ended my marriage to be with him and he left his partner...not a great story i know, especially as he didn't tell her about me for 2 years. Since she realised he's in a new relationship she won't let him see their daughter, now 10. He's trying to sort this out through the legal route - having tried everything else imaginable - but his ex and daughter live in france and the law there is not pro-dad in any way. It's now been nearly 3 yrs since DP has set eyes on DP and the sadness of this is killing him.
I think his ex will never budge while DP with me and have suggested we separate for a time to allow space for him to work on trying to sort things out. I don't love this option but if we carry on as we are i think he'll never see his daughter again and this wiĺl destroy our relationship anyway.
He thinks our separation would make no difference to his ex - she hates him and always will - but i think it's got to be worth a go, at least if she could see him as a single man she might a bit less angry? I'd love to hear views, especially from anyone who's blocked contact between their kids and ex in a similar way. I should add this is not related to him being an abusive dad - he has kids by a previous marriage and is close to all of them.

userxx Wed 25-Oct-17 23:26:20

What a horrible situation. Is he meant to spend the rest of his life alone so he can see his child, no one can be expected to live like that. I'm not sure what the solution is but splitting up seems very extreme.

rebelrebel3 Thu 26-Oct-17 00:14:23

I know! Awful choice....
Tbh women like this completely freak me up - my daughters would kill for a decent dad but DP wants to be involved in his daughter's life and is shut out

stitchglitched Thu 26-Oct-17 00:20:36

Why are they living in a different country? Who moved?

Also, without wishing to be rude is it possible that the ex has legitimate reasons for not wanting to send her daughter for contact? It's just that I've seen another of your threads and your partner is pretty awful (to put it mildly).

pog100 Thu 26-Oct-17 00:29:47

You need to move on from this man, he is not in any way good news for you.

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