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What would you do?

(7 Posts)
louiseee123 Wed 25-Oct-17 18:08:12

Backstory is. Me and DH married for 4 years and together for 8, 2 children. Generally i'd say we have/had a good relationship. Sex has dimished since last child but i'm working on that.

The issue i have is a few times i've seen hes been having conversations with women who he's worked with or from school all innocent but then deletes them so i dont see them. This of course makes me suspicious but he says he does it because i dont like him talking to them which isnt true.

Two days ago when he was at work his messenger logged onto mine and i saw a message from a women but then disappeared. I rightly or wrongly messaged the women and asked her if the conversation was innappropriate and she said no.

Now i dont know if im just being too paranoid or if i have something to worry about?

Be3Al2Si6O18 Wed 25-Oct-17 18:12:01

I would work on the "generally we have a good relationship bit" and consider why you are not saying it is fantastic. It might be of course but you need to do your bit to make it fantastic. Oh, and don't make sex the issue because love is stronger than sex.

louiseee123 Wed 25-Oct-17 18:36:08

I think our sex drives are quite incompatible which is causing me to think he would seek what he's missing from others. Dont really know how to solve that though.

And also the deleting messages adds to my unease in the relationship

Annoyed5678 Wed 25-Oct-17 18:43:48

It probably is innocent but he knows how paranoid you are being so feel he has to delete them, if he's gonna cheat nothing you do will stop him

Be3Al2Si6O18 Wed 25-Oct-17 18:45:16

Work on the initial attraction that brought you together.

If you cannot live or recreate those fun times together, it is likely you are not compatible.

However I think that 8 years and two kids mean you have something in common. It might not be a long term love life. But it will be kids and friendship for sure.

Work on that. The sex and kissing, clawing at each others backs is not that important to you and it doesn't need to be. Make peace with you. You sound great.

louiseee123 Wed 25-Oct-17 19:17:48

My husband is very patient with me but my self esteem is through the floor since the kids. I try to make sure we have together in the evenings but i work nights and others i'm so exhausted from lack of sleep its not easy.

Like you said if he's going to cheat he will regardless.

Annoyed5678 Wed 25-Oct-17 20:01:19

Try and have a bit more faith in yourself, he is with you because he wants to be regardless of loads of sex or no sex until he tells you differently start believing him

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